Masterpost: The Thirteenth Child

[hemrage]

Rating: NC17 Wordcount: 15,707 Warnings/Enticements: Arranged marriage, dubious consent, mpreg. Summary: In a world not too dissimilar to ours, there are three genders: male, female and carrier. Like women, carriers can bear children, but unlike women, bearing children is all they’re expected to do with their lives. The youngest of thirteen, a carrier born to a carrier, Jensen’s always known what was expected of him … didn’t mean he had to like it, though. CHAPTERS 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 Author’s Note: This was originally posted for a prompt meme over at spn_hardcore. The original story is here, though this version is a good few thousand words longer and (I hope) a lot more polished.

Comments

Comment, Part 2

[ladyeternal.livejournal.com]

I'd like to see you write that story. You handled the potential triggers in this fic so well, I think you could do it with equal skill. I don't see the heart of Jensen's issues over his marriage and pregnancy being resolved by his living through the birth, and I don't see those issues getting any better with time if left unaddressed. The need for this resolution is especially apparent at the end of this fic: when Jensen is seeing his children for the first time, all his thoughts are of them. Not of Jared or the life he has to look forward to that he never expected but is glad now that he has. Only of being there for his children as they grow, especially the carrier that will one day be used and bred just as he has been. After all, Jared has never really attended on Jensen's opinions in the past; Jensen has no reason to believe that his carrier son will have anything to look forward to beyond an arranged, loveless marriage to someone who may or may not give two shits about him. He's been given no reason to expect that Jared would even listen if Jensen tried to have some input on any of his children's futures, let alone the carrier's.

There would be bonus points if somewhere in the midst of all this, Jensen tells Jared that he's been treated like he's not a man just because he's a carrier and calling Jared on the feminization of him that he hates so much because of the whole "pussy" thing when Jared tries to protest.

I don't pretend that Jensen's exactly innocent of wrongdoing here, but he was, by far, the more wrongly treated party than Jared ever was. I want to see a story that resolves that aspect of this fic, in which Jared not only tells Jensen he loves him but starts acting like it and trying to make amends for the way their marriage started in a way that doesn't involve technically anal marital rape.

And this may seem like a huge down comment about your fic, but I want to end on this note: if it wasn't brilliantly written in every respect, I wouldn't be so enthralled as to be invested in the emotional fallout and want more. I probably wouldn't have even finished it. I want more because something written this well with huge holes in the resolution practically screams for a sequel, and if no one has outright begged you for it yet, we readers aren't doing our jobs.

Sequel? Please?