Masterpost: The Thirteenth Child

[hemrage]

Rating: NC17 Wordcount: 15,707 Warnings/Enticements: Arranged marriage, dubious consent, mpreg. Summary: In a world not too dissimilar to ours, there are three genders: male, female and carrier. Like women, carriers can bear children, but unlike women, bearing children is all they’re expected to do with their lives. The youngest of thirteen, a carrier born to a carrier, Jensen’s always known what was expected of him … didn’t mean he had to like it, though. CHAPTERS 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 Author’s Note: This was originally posted for a prompt meme over at spn_hardcore. The original story is here, though this version is a good few thousand words longer and (I hope) a lot more polished.

Comments

[nong-pradu.livejournal.com]

Oh yay! I remember reading this and really enjoying it! I'm so glad you've claimed and lengthened it. I can't wait until you start posting! :)

[calijirl5150.livejournal.com]

WOOT WOOT

[serendip50.livejournal.com]

Can't wait to read this one...thanks.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

Just posted the first part. I don't think I'll get any more posted until tomorrow, but I'll probably be able to post most of it then.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

Glad you like the idea. The first part is up now, I'll try and get the rest up over the weekend.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I've just posted part one, but I'm off to bed now so the rest will be posted tomorrow and Sunday.

[mini-moue.livejournal.com]

Can't wait till this is all posted so I can stick it on my ebook reader and get stuck into it! :-D

[lenastockton.livejournal.com]

I'm only a couple of parts into the story at this point but I really like what you have here and I'm eager to finish the story. I enjoy your style of writing a great deal. Thanks for sharing!

[baby-d00.livejournal.com]

Wonderful story! Thank you!

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

Well, I got it all up yesterday, so ave a ball, hon. Hope you enjoy it.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome, and thanks for the kind words.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

You're more than welcome.

[josieb1.livejournal.com]

This was lovely, I'm so glad you posted it, thank you

[personic-pooch.livejournal.com]

My heard broke into 9 different pieces with each chapter. IT WAS SO TOUCHING SJADHKASD;

Especially the ending! The ending killed me, what with Jensen being happy with his kids. Argh.

bookmark'd.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome. Glad you enjoyed it.

[hemrage.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it.

[onewearyheart.livejournal.com]

loved it. wished there was a pdf. please write more preggy!jensen and doting!jared :)

Comment, Part 1

[ladyeternal.livejournal.com]

I found this entire fic rather compelling, and I was pleased to see the triggery material softened with more skill than many of its kind. The motivations of both Js are tempered with genuine emotions, and the subject is treated with respect. The semi-reversal of the Js feelings on the idea of children at the end was a deft touch that did bring a smile to my face.

But... there was a lot for me that went seriously unresolved.

For starters, Jared is in love with the idea of Jensen, not Jensen himself, and that doesn't change anywhere in here. From start to finish, the reader doesn't get the impression that Jared really has any idea about who Jensen is, what his life or ambitions were prior to their marriage, or anything else, really. And Jensen, while enjoying the sex more once Jared has to be told by a doctor to make it pleasurable for him (something that still makes everything in me flare in anger), still doesn't know much about or seem to really care about Jared. I got the strong impression that their ephemeral bonding over mutually pleasurable sex and the pregnancy eclipsed many of the larger issues in their relationship, and Jensen living through the birth doesn't magically resolve them. Jensen's gratitude to Jared for trying to alleviate his fears wouldn't do much to ameliorate the fundamental lack of affection between them, either.

And then there's the huge minefield of the beginning of their relationship: months of marital rape, regardless of how tender Jared might have tried to be & including their first anal tryst; the total lack of consideration of Jensen's feelings or opinions for a huge portion of the fic; the mistrust over the contraceptive Jensen was taking and the undisclosed secret of the fertility drugs that Jared swapped in their place; not to mention the aphrodisiacs Jared was having mixed into Jensen's food in the first place to drug him into enjoying the sex. None of this really feels resolved.

In the wake of that much screwing with his hormones, I can see Jensen going into a serious bout of post-partum depression. Nothing life-threatening to himself or the children, but something that persists for months after the birth and affects his marriage to Jared right down to the core. Something that would make Jared push, because he's angry and doesn't understand, like most partners in even loving couples don't and thinking that yelling at Jensen to snap out of it will end it as though Jensen's on an extended moping session.

And then finally Jensen would push back (as I waited the entire fic for him to do; a person can only bend so far before they break), telling Jared what Jared needed to know all along: that Jensen is living a life he swore never to have and didn't want, a life forced on him by everyone, including his husband. That all the orgasms in the world can't change it, and that all the love he feels for his children doesn't create love for the husband who still technically doesn't think of or treat Jensen as anything more than someone to provide Jared heirs and a dinner party companion of moderate social grace.

Comment, Part 2

[ladyeternal.livejournal.com]

I'd like to see you write that story. You handled the potential triggers in this fic so well, I think you could do it with equal skill. I don't see the heart of Jensen's issues over his marriage and pregnancy being resolved by his living through the birth, and I don't see those issues getting any better with time if left unaddressed. The need for this resolution is especially apparent at the end of this fic: when Jensen is seeing his children for the first time, all his thoughts are of them. Not of Jared or the life he has to look forward to that he never expected but is glad now that he has. Only of being there for his children as they grow, especially the carrier that will one day be used and bred just as he has been. After all, Jared has never really attended on Jensen's opinions in the past; Jensen has no reason to believe that his carrier son will have anything to look forward to beyond an arranged, loveless marriage to someone who may or may not give two shits about him. He's been given no reason to expect that Jared would even listen if Jensen tried to have some input on any of his children's futures, let alone the carrier's.

There would be bonus points if somewhere in the midst of all this, Jensen tells Jared that he's been treated like he's not a man just because he's a carrier and calling Jared on the feminization of him that he hates so much because of the whole "pussy" thing when Jared tries to protest.

I don't pretend that Jensen's exactly innocent of wrongdoing here, but he was, by far, the more wrongly treated party than Jared ever was. I want to see a story that resolves that aspect of this fic, in which Jared not only tells Jensen he loves him but starts acting like it and trying to make amends for the way their marriage started in a way that doesn't involve technically anal marital rape.

And this may seem like a huge down comment about your fic, but I want to end on this note: if it wasn't brilliantly written in every respect, I wouldn't be so enthralled as to be invested in the emotional fallout and want more. I probably wouldn't have even finished it. I want more because something written this well with huge holes in the resolution practically screams for a sequel, and if no one has outright begged you for it yet, we readers aren't doing our jobs.

Sequel? Please?