hemrage

RETURN TO PART FIVE

The pain was bearable for now. That was the first thing that occurred to him when consciousness rushed to greet him. He took a breath and rolled onto his back - the only position he felt any comfort in of late and even that was short lived as his back quickly began to ache and his ass went numb.

Deep breathing seemed to be helping, a fast pant that was almost putting him at risk of the dizziness and confusion that came with hyperventilation. It was a bloody good job he was lying down, and he adjusted his position on the bed as the pain receded, careful not to move too much in case he woke the men sleeping either side of him.

He’d thought, when the time came, he'd be a neurotic mess, but he surprised himself with how calm he felt. This little one was not Jamie. His fate would not be hers. He sought comfort in that belief, in that certainty. A certainty that had become an intrinsic part of him once his stomach began to swell and the nightmares resurfaced to rob him of much needed sleep. Even news of Adam Connors' death - at his own hand - did nothing to alleviate the fear of losing a second child. He could only thank the two men in his life for that. For their unstinting patience and compassion and love. And the conviction – which he had come to share – that this child was destined to lead a long and happy life.

He looked to his left, to the side of the bed that used to be his, and smiled when Chris moved, his shoulder length hair fanning round his head. He’d been growing it for months now, ever since Jensen had mentioned casually that it suited him – and Jeff’s off handed comment about how it made him look like a girl had only spurred him on.

Turning to his right he felt the heat of Jeff’s body radiating towards him even though he couldn’t see him. Jeff was hiding beneath the covers, the insistent sun obviously annoying him enough, even this early in the morning, for him to pull the comforter over his head.

Chris and Jeff. Jeff and Chris. His boys!

They didn't sleep well now they shared a bed, neither one finding it possible to completely relax around the other. This bed sharing was a new thing. They hadn't been able to bring themselves to do it during the weeks of seclusion, but as Jensen's belly grew, and his nights became more problematic, both had resented any time they were unable to spend with Jensen - even if that time had been spent simply sleeping or wiping away tears.

They'd been worried about him, he knew that, and couldn’t blame them for it. With hindsight, the concern had been warranted. The counselling he'd agreed to undertake had brought to the surface all the pain and grief he thought he'd managed to deal with. Once the counselling began to include Jeff the healing increased.

When the counsellor had brought up the question of Chris' role, that's when things had become interesting.

With the counsellor insisting on talking to each of them separately, Jensen had had no idea what they discussed. But sometimes he caught the two men speaking softly to each other in hushed tones, sometimes they glared and the tension was almost tangible, and on one memorable occasion there'd been fighting – fists and insults flying round the room.

Jensen had refused to take sides as he tended bruises and grazed egos.

Things settled down after that.

Jeff was always going to be Jensen's first love, but Chris was loved too, more than Jensen thought was possible. He’d cast aside the guilt at feeling love and lust towards one who was not his Mate, for Chris who'd been willing to sacrifice everything he wanted out of life for Jensen's happiness.

The first night Jensen had lain in the bed - the one he shared with Jeff - and Chris had walked in, Jensen hadn't known what to expect. Hadn't known how Jeff would react. But what surprised him was when Jeff just walked in, without commenting, and climbed into the bed, pulling Jensen toward him.

That had been the first night of many Jensen's 'side' of the bed had become the middle ... Which was unfortunate as he had frequent nocturnal visits to the bathroom to look forward to as his child began her training as an athlete.

Jensen slept naked, they didn't, but any attempts to get close at night were thwarted as Chris freaked out at the possibility of touching Jeff accidentally – and Jeff shared the same concerns – which caused much frustration, especially when his libido insisted he get some attention. He wasn’t averse to banishing one of the men from the room when it got to be too much.

He listened to the even breathing of his lovers and attempted to match it as he breathed through another bout of pain.

He would have to wake them soon, but not yet. Not yet. He wouldn't be pregnant for much longer and he wanted to savour every moment.

He hadn't named her, not even midst idle fantasies. He refused to tempt fate as he had done with her big brother, but he knew Chris and Jeff both had ideas. They'd chatted to Sam about it, but hadn't discussed it with him – for which she'd chastised them but for which Jensen felt nothing but gratitude. They'd honoured his wishes and let him withdraw from the preparations for this child – though his reluctance to participate had, in part, been the root cause of their insistence he see a counsellor in the first place.

They’d worked together to decorate the nursery, both men buying baby clothes, choosing cribs and toys. Her daddies loved her so very much already, but Jensen knew – hoped - his little girl would forgive him for his lack of pre natal participation. He'd make up for it with love and by lavishing her with all the attention she could want ... until he returned to seclusion. And that return to seclusion would be quick. He'd nurse for six months but he'd be pregnant again within the year. He had two mates to keep happy now and whoever turned out to be his little girl's daddy – they couldn’t know that he already knew because he hadn’t said anything, and they’d have just seen it as a guess on his part anyway - the other would have to be given the chance to sire his own child.

His daughter would be raised with a sibling - or two - close to her own age. Jensen would delay seclusion for a time after that. There were ways of doing it - nurturing his lovers' desire for his milk would be part of it. When he'd begun lactating with Jamie, Jeff had become almost attached to the breast ... now he and Chris claimed one each.

Just the thought of his lovers suckling made his chest ache, and he was almost tempted to ask them to relieve the pressure before they transported him to the birthing unit at the hospital.

He lost his ability to think for a moment as a sharp pain took his breath away.

She was ready to be introduced to the world and she wasn't prepared to wait much longer.

Bracing himself until the new pain passed, he put one arm out to each of his sleeping companions. They woke almost instantly.

"What is it?"

"What's wrong?"

Jensen smiled at each of them in turn, "It's time to go."

The panic that followed was exasperating. The other men eased Jensen's considerable bulk off the bad as they floundered.

The increased weight he’d acquired aggravated his bad leg and the limp that had all but gone. Part of him was embarrassed to be so in need of help, but the largest part revelled in the love, attention and care that surrounded him.

They'd made noises about going back to separate bedrooms once the baby was born - with one on either side of the nursery the baby would never be wanting - but Jensen enjoyed having them both with him and he needed to think of a way to prevent that from happening.

He imagined sex with them - at the same time - and his cheeks flushed. He fantasised about how they could both be inside him at the same time and knew there was a way - if they were willing to be persuaded. This was not the time to get horny and wanting, though, and he forced those thoughts from his head as Chris wrapped a robe round him and Jeff settled warm and comfortable shoes onto his feet.

Their descent downstairs was a slow one, Jeff and Chris each taking an arm as he took a breather every couple of steps. Sam's appearance at his side, once they got halfway down, allowed Chris to run out and bring the car round to the door. She didn't climb in with them, though. It was his Mate's job to be with him through labor and to see their daughter draw her first breath, hear her make her first sound.

Jensen knew she was Jeff's. Knew it like he knew Jamie was a boy and this would be a little girl, but he wanted Chris there too. They were three, now, not two. He needed both of them and so would their children.

Jensen was swept away as soon as they arrived at the hospital. There'd been concerns as the pregnancy progressed that some of the injuries he'd sustained the previous year would hinder his ability to deliver naturally, and though things looked good there was a distinct unwillingness to leave anything to chance.

Jeff stared at Chris, knowing he was just as invested, but not willing to take any comfort in that knowledge.

They'd come to an agreement. Jensen and the children first, any problems they had with each other, second. It had been a hard won accord and there were still hurdles to overcome, not least of which was the fact Jensen was determined to make them a permanent triad.

"Do you reckon it'll be long?" Chris had taken to biting his nails, a nervous habit he'd outgrown as a teen but which had resurfaced recently. Sam and Jensen both chastised him for it, Jeff couldn't see the point. Chris was an adult and if he wanted to bite his nails – and annoy Jensen in the process – it was his right.

Before Jeff could answer, Jensen’s doctor appeared. “How is he?” travelled towards the white coat in stereo.

Doctor Simon Piper smiled, obviously very familiar with over-anxious fathers in his daily life. “Jensen’s doing fine. He’s having some discomfort but he’s very reluctant to take pain meds. No matter what I say to the contrary he’s convinced there’ll be a detrimental effect on the baby if he admits the weakness and takes the analgesics.”

Jeff frowned, “You want me to talk to him?”

Piper shook his head, “Not necessary. I don’t want him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with. I just thought I’d come out here and tell you you can come in. The distraction of having you two there may be just what he needs.”

By the time they arrived at the delivery suite Jensen was in the midst of a strong contraction and Jeff ran round to his far side, holding Jensen’s hand against his knee as Jensen braced and pushed. Fenom labor was notoriously brief but he hadn’t appreciated how far along Jensen was and he was surprised to see the top of a small head appear between Jensen’s legs.

“You’re doing so well, Sweetheart. So well.”

Jensen didn’t respond until the contraction had ended and he could focus on something other than pain – like the child emerging from his body. “Is she alright?”

It was Chris’ turn to talk at that point as he approached Jensen’s unattended shoulder, “You’re doing great.”

“I didn’t ask about me…”

Doctor Piper settled between Jensen’s legs and checked the baby’s airway wasn’t compromised. “Jensen, everything is great. The baby is getting anxious to meet you so I need one more push, please.”

Green eyes gazed up at him momentarily as the baby they belonged to yawned, hiding them from view again. He could hardly believe how much she looked like him. He’d been so sure she’d look more like Jeff and then he wouldn’t have to make the grand announcement – they’d just know – but no, it wasn’t going to be that easy and he was going to have to make the announcement.

He adjusted his daughter’s position as he shuffled along the bed. The painkillers he’d willingly taken after she’d been born not really serving to mask the ache. He couldn’t believe she’d dislocated his hip. The pain wasn’t too bad if he was still, but the doctor had already announced there’d be a return to physiotherapy in his immediate future – and Jensen didn’t miss the pain that accompanied that torture at all.

He swung his legs round, looking longingly at the bathroom, but knowing he had no chance of getting there unaided or with the baby in his arms. Lost in concentration at how he was going to solve this little problem he missed the door opening behind him.

“Where’d you think you’re going?”

Jensen knew he looked pitiful when he turned to face Chris and Jeff, but right now he could live with being pampered and coddled. “Just the bathroom.”

“Give her to me,” Chris took the little girl – Jensen still didn’t know her name(he'd been too busy marvelling at her perfections to ask) – away from him while Jeff helped him to his feet. Leading him to the adjacent bathroom.

Once he’d done what he needed to, Jensen carefully made his way back to the door, opening it but stopping when it was wide enough to hear what was being said on the other side, unseen.

“She’s gorgeous isn’t she?”

Jensen smiled at Jeff’s voice, the love and adoration obvious.

“Yep. She’s so lucky she looks like Jen and doesn’t have your ugly mug.”

They knew she was Jeff’s! How did they know?

Jeff chuckled, “You know any kid Jensen has will be beautiful. It’s the only way one of yours won’t have to wear a paper bag over his head.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny.”

The silence stretched and Jensen was almost willing to give up on his eavesdropping when he heard Chris’ voice grow quieter. “You reckon I will be having a kid with him then?”

Jeff’s voice was just as muted, “Probably more than one if he has his way.”

They sounded so sure – and happy – that Jensen couldn’t fight the grin that spread across his face. He was going to have the perfect family. He knew it. And Chris and Jeff were already halfway there.

He just had to think of a way to make them go all the way.

A/N - I wanted to make this story end somewhere else, so I reckon I'm going to need a timestamp or two to get there. I've already got a couple of ideas but if you want to make suggestions for pieces you reckon are missing from this verse go ahead and make them - whether they're pre-fic, a missing scene from during the story, or what comes further down the line.

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