Desperate Measures 10/?

[hemrage]

Masterpost for the verse: here.

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Granton, Missouri had a lot in common with most North American towns – well, towns the world over if governments would dare to be honest with the general populace - its aging, dwindling population was shrinking at a rate it would never recover from even if global fertility issues were rectified overnight. Old houses and businesses that became vacant were left empty because there weren’t enough people – families – willing to take them on. So they either fell to their foundations with help – the preferable option – or with time – the dangerous, but inexpensive one.

Granton was the type of town which demolished unwanted buildings, removed the visible symptoms of its decline – which was why the existence of the little, overgrown church, was a curiosity. “Why do you reckon it’s still standing?”

Sam pocketed the car keys as he crossed the road, even with his larger gait Jared was almost having to run to keep up. “People may have lost their religion but a lot are still superstitious. D’you really expect them to dig up their grandparents and plant them somewhere else?”

“I guess not…” He let his train of thought die as he caught the expression on his friend’s face. He should know better by now than to try to spark up conversation with Sam when he was being all ‘dark and gloomy’. Fuck it, the man could be hard work at the best of times – only Jensen and the kids were able to get through to him when he was at his worst - but since he’d spoken to Randy, and subsequently called Chris (a very brief and heated discussion), Sam had been brooding, anger almost visibly vibrating just beneath his skin. No doubt, if he’d still been in the military he’d have harnessed his mood and gone out on some dangerous mission where he could be merciless and deadly – instead he was driving cross country with Jared. There was just no way to relieve the tension, at least no way Jared wanted to either participate in or witness.

They made their way to the bright and cheerful diner across the street from the church. A barbershop and a general store flanked it, and it seemed comfortable and friendly. So unlike some of the places they’d stopped on the road. Even the harried woman behind the counter had a smile that didn’t falter for a moment as Sam scowled back.

Jared nodded a silent apology and the woman – her name badge called her Carla – winked at him as she tucked a stray strand of graying auburn behind her ear. Ducking his head, Jared hurried past her to the booth where Sam had decided to sit in his customary position, back to a wall where no one could creep up behind him, face to the door. Jared was left with nowhere to look but out the window, at the table, or at Sam.

He grabbed the menu. They still needed to find accommodation – if they were staying in town - but food, drowning in coffee, and finding out whether Jensen was still in the vicinity would come first.

Jared dug in to the breakfast special Carla placed in front of him, letting the food and coffee take all his attention as Sam stared out the diner’s window focusing beyond his shoulder and ignoring his existence. Part of him could sense that this sojourn south of the Canadian border was coming to an end, but as much as being away from the kids was hard, returning without Jensen was a possibility he’d chosen to ignore. It had been easy, when he’d thought Jack was the one who’d taken Jen, when he’d believed it was Jack keeping him away. Easy to have faith in a future where Jensen returned to him and they continued to live happily as a family. Knowing Jack was dead and needing to believe Jensen wasn’t staying away voluntarily felt too much like clutching at straws.

He didn’t know how Donna would be able to cope, but then again he didn’t know how he would. Raising Sarah – who looked so much like her daddy – and Jamie – who had his ways if not his looks – was going to be tough. Sam didn’t say it but, if following the credit card trail ended up at a dead end, or if Jensen couldn’t – or wouldn’t - return, it would be over.

Lost in his own morose thoughts he didn’t notice Sam stiffen, didn’t even react to the bitten off: ‘Stay here,’ as Sam rose from his seat.

Frowning, he turned to watch as Sam ran across the street, towards what looked like the town library. The door was swinging shut, as if someone had just passed through it, but whoever that was wasn’t Sam’s quarry. No, that title fell upon the man who was just vanishing round the corner of that building.

Not knowing what to do for the best, and heeding Sam’s words, Jared decided to stay where he was. There was, after all, no point in annoying a man prone to violence just because he could. He switched seats so that he had the same view Sam’d had before he left, that way, he figured, he’d see Sam as soon as he came back.

“I didn’t scare him off did I?”

Jared looked up at the waitress who was offering to refill his coffee cup. Carla pushed the same stray hair behind her ear as he looked up, her smile coy and inviting. Though her hair was graying he doubted she was as old as she first appeared. Maybe early thirties, but she’d long since given up playing with cosmetics, or hair dye – assuming she’d ever bothered. There was something hopeful in her eyes, something hungry, and Jared didn’t even try to lie to himself. It would’ve been obvious to a blind man what she wanted. He was confused as to why a single woman would ever have to make propositions towards a stranger, but he didn’t doubt the interest she was showing. “No, he’s just being his usual bright and sunny self.”

She nodded and bit her lip as she indicated his cup. Jared moved his hand so she could fill it almost to the brim. “That’s nice to know. Are.. are you and he?”

Jared frowned. Was she asking…? Damn it, she was. Him and Sam? No fucking way. He almost choked on the mouthful of coffee he’d taken. “No. Oh hell, no.”

Jared realized his mistake as she smiled at him, hopeful and oh so definitely captivated. He had to think of some way to put her off. Had to. But then if it was all in his mind and she wasn’t really interested he’d look like an idiot. A nervous idiot who couldn’t handle a woman who was interested in him sexually. It had been so long since he’d lain with a woman, since he’d been attracted to one and fucked one and …

Luckily he was spared from her further attentions by the crash that came from the kitchen, one that was followed by a demand for Carla’s assistance.

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We, as a species, are duty bound to exploit any and all advantages available to avoid or delay our impending extinction. Gestates, by their very existence, have the proven potential to be the greatest of advantages.

Over the last decade, ever since a young man named Dean Walker stumbled into the Harridine Community Hospital in the later stages of labor, the Gestate phenomena has become recognized as one of the most significant inventions in human history. One with the most capability of affecting the course of human survival, for good or ill, since Oppenheimer first set foot into a laboratory. And don’t let foolish sentimentality get in the way of what the intellectual within you knows to be true - invention is exactly what a Gestate is: a biological genetic invention that should be considered a possession of the human race rather than a part of it…

… A doctor would be considered a criminal if he didn’t use every tool in his possession to save his patient – are we to be the fools, the criminals, who do not use this tool to cure the human condition?

… It may be argued that those who sire and produce Gestate offspring should be properly compensated for the loss of, what is, very valuable property. I can fully understand this argument as they may have to bear some considerable financial investment in the feeding, clothing and rearing of the ‘offspring’ until such time as they are identified and claimed by the state. For this reason I fully concur with the proposals put forward by Senators Anthony and Pilcher, that Gestates should be removed from their parents homes as soon as they can possibly be identified. Individuals do not own the Gestate – the state does, and with this being the case the state should pay for their continued wellbeing. Without a doubt, the lack of outside influences and the successful inhibition of ambition and sense of self would only benefit the Gestate in the long run. Why, after all, offer them glimpses of a future that is unavailable to them?

He threw the book onto the table with the others that were spread out in front of him. Not that there were many. He supposed he should be grateful any existed at all on this particular subject given the way the librarian at the counter had stared at him when he’d made his enquiry, but he’d figured there would be more, that his existence would be more significant. They hadn’t even been in their own little section, but had been interspersed between tomes on political science, ethics, philosophy, sociology, biology and, disturbingly, animal husbandry.

A couple of the works he’d discarded almost as soon as he’d opened them, bile threatening to overpower him as he read their opening paragraphs. But there were others, ones which focused purely on the science, which were horrifyingly informative.

He now knew, not that there was much of a doubt, what the T-shaped scar crossing his abdomen meant. Knew how he differed from the men he saw on the street, and had a fair idea why he’d chosen to blank out his past. Why he had a deep seated reluctance to draw attention to himself and his plight. If even half of what he read was true about breeding programs and the Gestate’s role in the world, he needed to stay hidden.

A little over an hour after he’d sequestered himself into the quietest corner of the library he was walking back out into a new world. A world that was no longer filled with unknown dangers but with threats that were very real.

He was drawn back to the derelict church and made his way inside. There was peace here amidst the decaying ruin, and the disquiet within him was soothed and calmed. He could well imagine the place in its heyday, sunlight streaming through colored glass bathing the cold gray stone with warmth. He imagined people sitting in the old rotting pews listening to words about love and faith, singing with raised and joyous voices toward a Heaven that may – or may not – be listening.

Empty, the church would still have been a refuge. Warm candlelight would chase away shadows and, even in the absence of its loyal congregation, the building would be friendly and welcoming. Anyone would be able to seek shelter and solace within her walls, and you would never truly be alone. Not if you were a believer in the deity that was the inspiration for such a construction. Not if the priest was there to minister to your worries and fears. Everyone would be welcomed in through the doors.

Anyone.

His heart stuttered as something unsavory tried to break through the tranquility he’d sought solace in. Even his daydreams were conspiring against him and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He wanted a little of that imagined peace.

At night he was plagued by a jumble of visions. Impressions of love, of fear and pain, had invaded his nights since he’d woken at the side of the road, but there was a new confusing element to his night terrors - children. A playground haunted by angelic faces, high pitched laughter and joyful voices. Sometimes there was only one, occasionally there were more. He always woke up when they held their arms out for him … and now not even his daylight fancies were safe.

His thoughts were a mass of contradictions. He needed to face the truth but shied away from it. Needed to find out where he came from, who he was, but didn’t want to know.

He knew he couldn’t let the past stay hidden, but for now, for a little while, he wasn’t going to go looking for it. What had happened last night, this morning, with Mike…

Damn, and that was a whole other complication. There was no point in chastising himself. It had happened, couldn’t be altered. Parading himself naked in front of the man, falling asleep in his arms and then… it had been comfort, a need to feel like he counted, meant something to at least one person. It had been …

A bitten off curse invaded his sanctuary. He scanned the shadows, startled, waiting. His first thought was that he was about to get into trouble for trespassing, but it didn’t take long to dispel that. The giant of a man looked nervous, worried, as he stepped out into the open and somehow Ross knew this stranger wasn’t supposed to be here either.

Next

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A/N - I know this update has been a long time in coming. I was pretty sick for a while and didn't really feel like writing. Now I'm making myself write and post something every week. I can't guarantee it'll always be this story as I also write under another name - but as I get back in to the swing of things updates should happen more frequently.

Comments

[izzie7.livejournal.com]

It was so good to see an update to this story. Sorry to hear you've not been well, and take it easy.