Desperate Times: Desperate Hours
Oct. 19th, 2009 01:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hemrage Follows ‘Desperate Times’ and A Little Less Desperate and A Desperate Man. You will probably have to read those for this to make any sense whatsoever.
Masterpost for verse: here
Title: Desperate Hours
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Very AU, past MPREG
A/N: Cast of this story available here.
A/N2: Okay people – you wanted Jared to “help” Jensen out with his little problem… this is Jared’s way of helping! I know this is a long time in coming – no pun intended – sorry.
Jared had thought everything through and all he had to do was wait – patiently - until Jensen arrived home. Problem was he’d run out of patience over an hour earlier and his blood was thrumming a steady tune through his veins, his imagination taunting him with images of what he’d say, do, as soon as Jensen was standing in front of him. He bounced round the room, lit the fire, even though it wasn’t cold enough to need it, and then opened the wine he’d bought before helping himself to a beer to calm his nerves.
He’d spent days watching him. Days since Sam had told him what Jensen had been angsting over, and he’d finally seen it for himself. Seen what he’d been too blind to notice before. The way Jensen would flush when Jared came up behind him, the way he’d close his eyes when Jared’s hand brushed against his.
He’d have interpreted those actions and reactions a whole other way before he’d spoken to Sam and now? Now he took pleasure in the knowledge that Jensen had lustful thoughts about him.
Lusting, but being eaten up by guilt for doing so.
If Jared had to wait for Jensen to make the first move he’d be waiting a long, long time.
He’d given up waiting.
Things had improved a little after Sam left. Whether it was Jensen making the effort or Jared’s new found knowledge, he wasn’t sure, but he no longer had to fight to hold his heart together. Not now he knew it wasn’t at risk of being ripped apart.
He’d kept silent when Jensen had made noises about going into town. About visiting the little chapel and the minister that tended his flock there. Well, not completely silent. He’d said how great it was that Jensen was going out, broadening his horizons and possibly making friends. It would’ve looked suspicious if he hadn’t. But he hadn’t questioned Jensen’s choice of destination, even though he could see Jensen’s nervousness the first time he’d stepped out the door.
Timing was everything.
Jensen arranged his visits for when the church, and the town, were quiet. He didn’t go to services despite Donna’s reassurances that they were poorly attended. Jensen only went when he was certain he wouldn’t have company, when he could sneak in unnoticed, sit quietly at the back and commune with his God.
It wasn’t a faith Jared shared, but whatever was happening during Jensen’s visits it seemed to be having a positive effect. Though he’d been quiet after his first sojourn into the real world, Jensen was more relaxed after every subsequent visit. Jared didn’t ask about Jensen’s spiritual crisis – because he wasn’t supposed to know – but he was going to push for a reaction, push to see how much of a barrier it was to Jensen’s – their - happiness.
He’d taken to brushing up against Jensen more often, deliberately lighting that spark in Jensen’s eyes before seeing him withdraw. He’d delighted in the little shivers that assailed Jensen’s body when he got in close and puffed hot breath across his collar, down his neck.
Jared had enjoyed toying with Jensen, but playtime was over. As much as he knew he’d been riling Jensen up, he’d been getting himself worked up too, and there’s only so much comfort a man can get from his own hand.
He heard the car pull up in front of the house and rushed downstairs to open the front door before Jensen could.
Jensen looked tired, exhaustion playing across each feature, showing through in the way he carried himself. Only part of it was due to having two young children in the house, the rest was purely down to Jensen.
Jared was going to make sure he slept tonight – eventually.
As Jensen pulled the grocery bags out of the car Jared reached out to take one from him. Jensen’s smile was warm. “Thanks.”
“Don’t sweat it. What is all this stuff?” Jared stared into the paper sack as he carried it toward the kitchen.
“Oh, I was walking past the market and noticed it was having a sale. I didn’t know they were so well stocked, I haven’t seen a lot of this stuff in years.”
“Living this side of the border has its benefits.” Like being able to buy resources for two growing children without fear of the authorities breathing down their necks.
They dropped the bags onto the kitchen counter and Jensen started unpacking - and paused. The furrowed brow and obvious concern said a lot as he turned to Jared, a question on his face.
“They’re at your mom’s.”
“Why?”
Jared stepped closer to Jensen even as Jensen attempted to step backwards, the counter barring his way. He took the box out of Jensen’s hands, placed it on the counter, bracketed Jensen’s body with his arms, trapping him. “Because I want to spend some time with you. Alone.”
Jensen swallowed, looked at his feet. “You shouldn’t have done that. Dad…”
“Wanted to have them there. He’s feeling fine today. Doesn’t seem to think he’s seeing enough of his grandchildren since your mom barely lets him out of the house these days.”
Jensen didn’t look up as Jared moved closer. Close enough that his legs were touching Jensen’s, close enough that his feet were on either side of the smaller ones in front of him. He took a finger and tilted Jensen’s chin up. “So I thought it would be nice for us to have some quality time together. It’s been a while since your birthday and I’m kinda missing you.”
There was panic in Jensen’s eyes as Jared leant forward, close enough to feel that it wasn’t just Jensen’s shoulders that had become stiff. He turned away at the last moment, just as Jensen closed his eyes, parted his lips.
It was hard, fuck was it hard, but Jared picked up the box on the counter beside Jensen and stepped away, feeling Jensen’s body sag as if it had only been Jared’s proximity keeping him upright.
“What’s this?” He turned away, not wanting Jensen to see the grin on his face. The satisfaction caused by Jensen’s reaction.
“Wha…?”
Jensen sounded bewildered. Jared schooled his features and turned to face him, holding up the box. “This, what is it? I don’t think I’ve ever bought these before.”
Jensen seemed to shake himself aware. “I thought, um… I thought you’d like them.”
Jared looked at the brightly colored picture on the box, at the list of unhealthy ingredients on the back which basically translated as sugar and fat, with additional sugar. He had to admit, Jensen knew him well.
“See, this is how I know you love me. Little things like this.” He’d meant it as a joke but he knew, even as they passed his lips, that there was so much more power in the words. Emotion he was trying to rein in, breaking loose.
He held his breath, waited for Jensen to look up at him, for Jensen’s eyes to meet his. “I do love you.” There was so much certainty in those whispered words.
Jared stepped toward the smaller man, crowding him against the counter once again. He ignored the panic on Jensen’s face. Ignored the way Jensen once again cast his glance towards the floor. He rested his hands on Jensen’s hips. Held him. Palms picking up the heat from skin beneath the thin layer of cotton. “I know you do. But sometimes Jen, sometimes, it’s hard to see. It’s hard to know what you’re thinking… or how you feel.”
Jared heard the quiet, “sorry”, but ignored it. He dropped his hands to Jensen’s which hung limply at his sides, and held them tightly, giving Jensen a little tug towards him as he stepped away. “You’re coming with me now, baby.”
Jensen didn’t argue, but then Jared hadn’t expected him to. Jared mentally cancelled his plans for the early part of the evening - the movie, dinner and wine no longer important as Jensen allowed himself to be led upstairs, to the room Jared had already prepared for them.
Bed made up, sheets pulled back….
“Jared..?”
“Just go with the flow. Do what feels good. Don’t think too much about this.”
“But..”
Jared caught Jensen’s gaze and refused to release it. He stared into nervous green eyes and smiled. “Do you know you’ve had me thinking that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore?”
Green eyes widened, “No, I…”
Jared’s smile softened further. There were no accusations and he didn’t want apologies. “I know, Jen. I know. But hearing it a little more often would be nice.”
Jared dropped Jensen’s hands and moved behind him, breathed hot and intimate down his neck. “It would be nice if you didn’t avoid touching me,” he nibbled down from Jensen’s jaw to his collar bone, sucked on the tender skin that greeted him there, “or try to get away from me touching you.” His hands held Jensen firm to ensure he couldn’t do just that. Arm curling round Jensen’s stomach, pulling him near so that Jared’s rapidly swelling cock was nestled in the crease of Jensen’s ass.
He continued to nibble and suck as Jensen squirmed in his arms, as he sighed and panted. Jared could feel Jensen’s arousal matching his own as he moved his palm lower.
There was no resistance at all as Jared began stripping him of his clothes. A kiss deposited lightly on every inch of skin as it was revealed.
Once Jensen was naked Jared moved him backwards, lay him on the bed. “Tell me.”
Jensen’s mouth sought his out and Jared pulled his head up and away, refused to provide Jensen with an excuse for not talking. He stroked his hand along Jensen’s side, felt the shudders Jensen was trying to suppress. “Tell me why you’ve been fighting this.”
“I… I love you.”
Jared smiled, “I know. I know you do, and I love you too. So damn much it scares me sometimes. But that isn’t what I asked. I don’t want you to keep secrets from me. If you’re worried about something you should share that with me.”
He moved onto the bed, allowed his clothed weight to settle on top of the smaller, naked body. As his mouth met Jensen’s, kissed him deeply, he adjusted his position. Moved so that instead of lying along Jensen’s side he was lying between his legs, the denim of his jeans hard against his lover’s erection. Jensen settled onto his back, moved his legs wider.
“Why?” He leaned back far enough so that he could see into Jensen’s eyes, see the uncertainty that couldn’t be hidden behind the mounting passion.
“I’ve changed. I’m not… Jeff said…” Jensen paused.
“What did he say?” It’d been a couple of months since Jared had driven with Jensen to see Jeff, Jensen choosing to go on his infrequent visits alone. Jeff Morgan didn’t treat the children - a specialist in gestate care wasn’t needed in the fight against sniffles and teething.
“Just something I’d already worked out for myself.” Jensen tried to withdraw, his eyes closing, but Jared wouldn’t let him.
“Tell me.”
Jared watched the movement of Jensen’s throat as he swallowed, his lips as he licked them. “You remember my birthday?”
He said nothing. Jensen’s birthday was the last time Jensen had really relaxed in his company. He’d woken up the morning after and Jensen had already left their bed. The first time, of many, he’d used the kids as an excuse to retreat.
“I… I felt like I was on fire, Jay. When you… when you were inside me it…”
“It hurt?” Jared’s heart was in his mouth, bile rising to join it. If all this was because he hurt Jensen, because…
“No.” It was Jensen’s turn to hold Jared’s face in his hands as he spoke. “The opposite. It felt good. Too good.”
Jared smiled with relief. “It’s not possible for it to feel too good, babe. It’s supposed to feel that way.”
“No. It’s different. When you held still .. Fuck it Jared. I could feel your pulse. Feel every vein and every drop you spilled inside me.”
“You’re that sensitive?” Jared didn’t try to keep the awe from his voice.
Jensen nodded, looking adorably embarrassed.
“Okay. So what? I really don’t see a problem here.”
“Jared...” Jensen’s hands rested on his shoulders, simultaneously pushing him back and pulling his shirt out of the way.
Jared wanted to laugh at the mixed messages, but he was transfixed by the desperation in his lover’s eyes. He caught each of Jensen’s hands, kissed each palm, before lowering his face to meet those lips.
“Shhh, Jen. Just relax. Let me show you how good it can be.”
Jared woke to find Jensen still in his arms, his hand at home low on Jensen’s belly, ridged scar tickling his palm.
He couldn’t hold back the smile as a sleeping Jensen wriggled closer, his ass rubbing against Jared’s more than willing erection.
Three times in the night Jensen had begged for him, pleaded to make up for lost time. Jared was hardly going to turn him down.
He turned to check the time and noted they still had a few hours before Donna was expected to drop the kids off.
He could work with that.
Masterpost for verse: here
Title: Desperate Hours
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Very AU, past MPREG
A/N: Cast of this story available here.
A/N2: Okay people – you wanted Jared to “help” Jensen out with his little problem… this is Jared’s way of helping! I know this is a long time in coming – no pun intended – sorry.
Jared had thought everything through and all he had to do was wait – patiently - until Jensen arrived home. Problem was he’d run out of patience over an hour earlier and his blood was thrumming a steady tune through his veins, his imagination taunting him with images of what he’d say, do, as soon as Jensen was standing in front of him. He bounced round the room, lit the fire, even though it wasn’t cold enough to need it, and then opened the wine he’d bought before helping himself to a beer to calm his nerves.
He’d spent days watching him. Days since Sam had told him what Jensen had been angsting over, and he’d finally seen it for himself. Seen what he’d been too blind to notice before. The way Jensen would flush when Jared came up behind him, the way he’d close his eyes when Jared’s hand brushed against his.
He’d have interpreted those actions and reactions a whole other way before he’d spoken to Sam and now? Now he took pleasure in the knowledge that Jensen had lustful thoughts about him.
Lusting, but being eaten up by guilt for doing so.
If Jared had to wait for Jensen to make the first move he’d be waiting a long, long time.
He’d given up waiting.
Things had improved a little after Sam left. Whether it was Jensen making the effort or Jared’s new found knowledge, he wasn’t sure, but he no longer had to fight to hold his heart together. Not now he knew it wasn’t at risk of being ripped apart.
He’d kept silent when Jensen had made noises about going into town. About visiting the little chapel and the minister that tended his flock there. Well, not completely silent. He’d said how great it was that Jensen was going out, broadening his horizons and possibly making friends. It would’ve looked suspicious if he hadn’t. But he hadn’t questioned Jensen’s choice of destination, even though he could see Jensen’s nervousness the first time he’d stepped out the door.
Timing was everything.
Jensen arranged his visits for when the church, and the town, were quiet. He didn’t go to services despite Donna’s reassurances that they were poorly attended. Jensen only went when he was certain he wouldn’t have company, when he could sneak in unnoticed, sit quietly at the back and commune with his God.
It wasn’t a faith Jared shared, but whatever was happening during Jensen’s visits it seemed to be having a positive effect. Though he’d been quiet after his first sojourn into the real world, Jensen was more relaxed after every subsequent visit. Jared didn’t ask about Jensen’s spiritual crisis – because he wasn’t supposed to know – but he was going to push for a reaction, push to see how much of a barrier it was to Jensen’s – their - happiness.
He’d taken to brushing up against Jensen more often, deliberately lighting that spark in Jensen’s eyes before seeing him withdraw. He’d delighted in the little shivers that assailed Jensen’s body when he got in close and puffed hot breath across his collar, down his neck.
Jared had enjoyed toying with Jensen, but playtime was over. As much as he knew he’d been riling Jensen up, he’d been getting himself worked up too, and there’s only so much comfort a man can get from his own hand.
He heard the car pull up in front of the house and rushed downstairs to open the front door before Jensen could.
Jensen looked tired, exhaustion playing across each feature, showing through in the way he carried himself. Only part of it was due to having two young children in the house, the rest was purely down to Jensen.
Jared was going to make sure he slept tonight – eventually.
As Jensen pulled the grocery bags out of the car Jared reached out to take one from him. Jensen’s smile was warm. “Thanks.”
“Don’t sweat it. What is all this stuff?” Jared stared into the paper sack as he carried it toward the kitchen.
“Oh, I was walking past the market and noticed it was having a sale. I didn’t know they were so well stocked, I haven’t seen a lot of this stuff in years.”
“Living this side of the border has its benefits.” Like being able to buy resources for two growing children without fear of the authorities breathing down their necks.
They dropped the bags onto the kitchen counter and Jensen started unpacking - and paused. The furrowed brow and obvious concern said a lot as he turned to Jared, a question on his face.
“They’re at your mom’s.”
“Why?”
Jared stepped closer to Jensen even as Jensen attempted to step backwards, the counter barring his way. He took the box out of Jensen’s hands, placed it on the counter, bracketed Jensen’s body with his arms, trapping him. “Because I want to spend some time with you. Alone.”
Jensen swallowed, looked at his feet. “You shouldn’t have done that. Dad…”
“Wanted to have them there. He’s feeling fine today. Doesn’t seem to think he’s seeing enough of his grandchildren since your mom barely lets him out of the house these days.”
Jensen didn’t look up as Jared moved closer. Close enough that his legs were touching Jensen’s, close enough that his feet were on either side of the smaller ones in front of him. He took a finger and tilted Jensen’s chin up. “So I thought it would be nice for us to have some quality time together. It’s been a while since your birthday and I’m kinda missing you.”
There was panic in Jensen’s eyes as Jared leant forward, close enough to feel that it wasn’t just Jensen’s shoulders that had become stiff. He turned away at the last moment, just as Jensen closed his eyes, parted his lips.
It was hard, fuck was it hard, but Jared picked up the box on the counter beside Jensen and stepped away, feeling Jensen’s body sag as if it had only been Jared’s proximity keeping him upright.
“What’s this?” He turned away, not wanting Jensen to see the grin on his face. The satisfaction caused by Jensen’s reaction.
“Wha…?”
Jensen sounded bewildered. Jared schooled his features and turned to face him, holding up the box. “This, what is it? I don’t think I’ve ever bought these before.”
Jensen seemed to shake himself aware. “I thought, um… I thought you’d like them.”
Jared looked at the brightly colored picture on the box, at the list of unhealthy ingredients on the back which basically translated as sugar and fat, with additional sugar. He had to admit, Jensen knew him well.
“See, this is how I know you love me. Little things like this.” He’d meant it as a joke but he knew, even as they passed his lips, that there was so much more power in the words. Emotion he was trying to rein in, breaking loose.
He held his breath, waited for Jensen to look up at him, for Jensen’s eyes to meet his. “I do love you.” There was so much certainty in those whispered words.
Jared stepped toward the smaller man, crowding him against the counter once again. He ignored the panic on Jensen’s face. Ignored the way Jensen once again cast his glance towards the floor. He rested his hands on Jensen’s hips. Held him. Palms picking up the heat from skin beneath the thin layer of cotton. “I know you do. But sometimes Jen, sometimes, it’s hard to see. It’s hard to know what you’re thinking… or how you feel.”
Jared heard the quiet, “sorry”, but ignored it. He dropped his hands to Jensen’s which hung limply at his sides, and held them tightly, giving Jensen a little tug towards him as he stepped away. “You’re coming with me now, baby.”
Jensen didn’t argue, but then Jared hadn’t expected him to. Jared mentally cancelled his plans for the early part of the evening - the movie, dinner and wine no longer important as Jensen allowed himself to be led upstairs, to the room Jared had already prepared for them.
Bed made up, sheets pulled back….
“Jared..?”
“Just go with the flow. Do what feels good. Don’t think too much about this.”
“But..”
Jared caught Jensen’s gaze and refused to release it. He stared into nervous green eyes and smiled. “Do you know you’ve had me thinking that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore?”
Green eyes widened, “No, I…”
Jared’s smile softened further. There were no accusations and he didn’t want apologies. “I know, Jen. I know. But hearing it a little more often would be nice.”
Jared dropped Jensen’s hands and moved behind him, breathed hot and intimate down his neck. “It would be nice if you didn’t avoid touching me,” he nibbled down from Jensen’s jaw to his collar bone, sucked on the tender skin that greeted him there, “or try to get away from me touching you.” His hands held Jensen firm to ensure he couldn’t do just that. Arm curling round Jensen’s stomach, pulling him near so that Jared’s rapidly swelling cock was nestled in the crease of Jensen’s ass.
He continued to nibble and suck as Jensen squirmed in his arms, as he sighed and panted. Jared could feel Jensen’s arousal matching his own as he moved his palm lower.
There was no resistance at all as Jared began stripping him of his clothes. A kiss deposited lightly on every inch of skin as it was revealed.
Once Jensen was naked Jared moved him backwards, lay him on the bed. “Tell me.”
Jensen’s mouth sought his out and Jared pulled his head up and away, refused to provide Jensen with an excuse for not talking. He stroked his hand along Jensen’s side, felt the shudders Jensen was trying to suppress. “Tell me why you’ve been fighting this.”
“I… I love you.”
Jared smiled, “I know. I know you do, and I love you too. So damn much it scares me sometimes. But that isn’t what I asked. I don’t want you to keep secrets from me. If you’re worried about something you should share that with me.”
He moved onto the bed, allowed his clothed weight to settle on top of the smaller, naked body. As his mouth met Jensen’s, kissed him deeply, he adjusted his position. Moved so that instead of lying along Jensen’s side he was lying between his legs, the denim of his jeans hard against his lover’s erection. Jensen settled onto his back, moved his legs wider.
“Why?” He leaned back far enough so that he could see into Jensen’s eyes, see the uncertainty that couldn’t be hidden behind the mounting passion.
“I’ve changed. I’m not… Jeff said…” Jensen paused.
“What did he say?” It’d been a couple of months since Jared had driven with Jensen to see Jeff, Jensen choosing to go on his infrequent visits alone. Jeff Morgan didn’t treat the children - a specialist in gestate care wasn’t needed in the fight against sniffles and teething.
“Just something I’d already worked out for myself.” Jensen tried to withdraw, his eyes closing, but Jared wouldn’t let him.
“Tell me.”
Jared watched the movement of Jensen’s throat as he swallowed, his lips as he licked them. “You remember my birthday?”
He said nothing. Jensen’s birthday was the last time Jensen had really relaxed in his company. He’d woken up the morning after and Jensen had already left their bed. The first time, of many, he’d used the kids as an excuse to retreat.
“I… I felt like I was on fire, Jay. When you… when you were inside me it…”
“It hurt?” Jared’s heart was in his mouth, bile rising to join it. If all this was because he hurt Jensen, because…
“No.” It was Jensen’s turn to hold Jared’s face in his hands as he spoke. “The opposite. It felt good. Too good.”
Jared smiled with relief. “It’s not possible for it to feel too good, babe. It’s supposed to feel that way.”
“No. It’s different. When you held still .. Fuck it Jared. I could feel your pulse. Feel every vein and every drop you spilled inside me.”
“You’re that sensitive?” Jared didn’t try to keep the awe from his voice.
Jensen nodded, looking adorably embarrassed.
“Okay. So what? I really don’t see a problem here.”
“Jared...” Jensen’s hands rested on his shoulders, simultaneously pushing him back and pulling his shirt out of the way.
Jared wanted to laugh at the mixed messages, but he was transfixed by the desperation in his lover’s eyes. He caught each of Jensen’s hands, kissed each palm, before lowering his face to meet those lips.
“Shhh, Jen. Just relax. Let me show you how good it can be.”
Jared woke to find Jensen still in his arms, his hand at home low on Jensen’s belly, ridged scar tickling his palm.
He couldn’t hold back the smile as a sleeping Jensen wriggled closer, his ass rubbing against Jared’s more than willing erection.
Three times in the night Jensen had begged for him, pleaded to make up for lost time. Jared was hardly going to turn him down.
He turned to check the time and noted they still had a few hours before Donna was expected to drop the kids off.
He could work with that.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-10-19 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-19 02:25 am (UTC)Now I'm just worried what will happen to our boy before Jared and Sam find him
no subject
Date: 2009-10-19 03:34 am (UTC)And also, I'm so happy that everything is out in the open with him. Love this update so much that I almost forget that Jensen's missing :(
no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 05:00 am (UTC)Very sexy and very sweet. Nice culmination to the bridge between the two novels.
Thanks.
Jackie
no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 04:26 pm (UTC)Now I cannot come to terms with how different this stories are in this moment ! Here they are so happy, and there Jensen is Ross !! What happened ?! Damn, is he pregnant ??!!
Thank you, wonderful story !
no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-19 04:15 am (UTC)I'm so glad you are still working on this, it is fantastic!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 12:38 am (UTC)that's so sweet! I mean that he's finally facing things
So sweet!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-26 03:45 pm (UTC)