Desperate Times - 42
Dec. 9th, 2008 11:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hemrageChapter 41 here.
Title: Desperate Times (42/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
A/N: Cast of this story available here.
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.) Oh, and I believe in happy endings!
A/N2: Finally, a finished chapter. It's been a week since I updated - I NEVER leave it that long, but, heck, is this time of year busy or what? I honestly can't tell you, at this point, when the next update will be. I have ten days before I go away .. I should be able to update at least twice in ten days *fingers well and truly crossed*.
I would put extra warnings on this chapter ... but I don't think those of you who are following this story are going to be completely surprised by what happens.
It hadn’t even been a half hour, but it felt like a lifetime had passed.
Jensen refused to eat, hadn’t wanted a drink when it was placed in front of him and he wouldn’t engage them in conversation. His emotions swung between the extremes of angry and desperate.
He’d begged, shouted, pleaded and threatened.
He’d been sitting for less than five minutes when he struggled back to his feet, “I can’t just sit here. I can’t…”
Joe beat him to the door, “You’re not going over there, Jen. We agreed.”
“I didn’t bloody agree to anything. You all did, behind my back, but I wasn’t consulted so how on Earth could I agree?”
Alan listened to the replay of an earlier conversation between his sons, and concentrated on building up the fire. It was getting colder all the time. The snows had finally fallen and they probably wouldn’t see the green beneath the blanket of white for at least a couple of weeks.
Another agonized scream provoked silence in the room and Alan knew it was right to keep Jensen here, away from the spectacle and trauma of the birth.
“He wanted me there, Joe. He was scared. He…”
Alan stood with his back to the flames and watched Joseph’s hands come up to restrain Jensen as he reached for the handle.
He could see Joseph was holding back, too afraid of hurting his brother to put his full weight behind the move. Too afraid of bruising the tired, emotional young man Jensen had become. But Alan could see that Jensen was fully aware of his brother’s concession, and he knew his youngest son well enough to acknowledge he might just take advantage of that weakness.
Jensen pushed.
Joseph didn’t push back.
But it wasn’t enough.
Joseph had always been larger than his brother, stronger, and now, given the way things were, there was very little effort required for him to accomplish his goal.
Jensen was just getting more and more agitated, and Alan stepped in now that it was obvious Joseph had run out of ideas to placate his brother.
“Jensen. Just stop.”
Jensen responded to his father’s voice the way he always had. His arms dropped to his sides and his head bowed. He doubted Jensen was even aware of the angry, frustrated tears that fell from his eyes, and Alan refused to let them have an impact on his resolve. He approached both his boys, and placed his hand on Jensen’s arm, drawing him away from the door and letting Joseph relax his stance.
“Dad?”
His boy’s voice was broken, choked.
Alan refused to be swayed.
As much as Trey wanted Jensen with him, as much as Jensen had expressed a desire to grant that request, everyone had agreed that Jensen should be kept away, shielded from the experience in case it heightened his fear and concern over the impending birth of his own children.
Both Donna and Jared had agreed to help Jeffrey with Trey.
Donna wouldn’t admit that she’d grown fond of the sulky teenager, but she never balked at the angry, bitten off insults that were frequently hurled in her direction. She had been more than happy to step in and replace Jensen as hand-holder, insisting that the boy needed a mother figure there, someone who’d been through child birth and come out the other side virtually unscathed.
Besides, she needed the distraction.
They’d not heard from Joshua in the weeks since his departure and it played on everyone’s minds. Especially as Sam had left before the onset of the first blizzard and communication lines, in and out of camp, had slowed to almost a stand still since ‘The Network’ started making plans.
Jared was assisting Jeff because he needed help from someone who wouldn’t pass out or panic. Alan wasn’t sure how Jared qualified, but he knew determination when he saw it.
Jensen was all the motivation Jared required.
No offence to the boy, but Trey had done nothing to enhance his popularity and he’d become, at least in Alan’s opinion, a way for both of them to prepare for what was to befall Jensen.
Trey was practice.
Alan felt stinging regret at that. The boy had nobody with him who didn’t have an ulterior motive. He had no family, no true friends. Jensen would’ve been that for him, a person who put him first, but Jensen wasn’t there. And maybe that hurt Jensen more than being there would have.
But they’d made a decision and he wasn’t going to back down.
Jensen had to be his main concern.
Had to be.
His son would know, soon enough, what was happening over in that cabin. He would know, first hand, what Trey was experiencing. It was something he couldn’t be protected from.
Alan knew what was involved, he’d had Jeff explain what was going to happen so he knew the dangers and risks – he didn’t need to see it for himself. Didn’t need to know what caused those agonized screams, not when, in a few weeks, they’d belong to his youngest child.
He led Jensen towards the couch and forced him to sit down and take the weight off his already swollen ankles.
Jensen’s girth seemed to be expanding daily. Alan was almost certain Donna had been near full term by the time she’d carried this much weight, though, admittedly, she’d never put on a lot of weight during pregnancy – and she hadn’t been expecting twins.
“Dad, I’ve got to …”
“No, Jensen. You don’t. Trey’s got your momma with him. And Jared.”
Jensen didn’t want to listen, but Alan could see his son was flagging.
He’d stayed awake with Trey most of the night, coaxing and cajoling the reluctant young man into accepting what was happening. He’d offered comfort and reassurance with each fresh surge of pain, even as the boy remained stubbornly in the realm of denial. When morning finally arrived, and Trey had surrendered himself to Jeff, Jensen had looked as if sleep would claim him at any moment.
It hadn’t.
Jensen hadn’t given it a chance to. “But it’s me he wanted. I promised.”
“Then you shouldn’t have. And he shouldn’t have made you.”
Alan watched as Joseph turned the key in the door, pocketing it. Jensen was too distressed to notice.
“Lie down, son. You should be having that nap Jeff prescribed, about now.”
Jensen glared from his father to his brother. Both of them immovable, impassable.
He stifled a yawn, “I’ll lie down, but I won’t sleep. How’d you expect me to be able to sleep?”
“That’s okay. Lying down means you’re resting a little.” Alan smiled to himself as he lifted the blanket from the back of the chair and placed it over his recumbent son. It had worked this way when Jensen was little. All you ever really needed to do was make him stop, stand still, give sleep a chance to catch up.
Jensen stared at the ceiling of the cabin.
Alan waited.
It wasn’t long before Jensen’s eyes slipped shut.
The very first time Donna held a baby she’d been seven years old and it had belonged to her cousin, Annette. Her mother had sat there, right next to her, as the baby had screamed and squawked, offering to take her back, but Donna had delighted in the feel of the little girl in her arms.
She’d held her and breathed her in and then she’d handed her back. It hadn’t been hard because she hadn’t really had any connection to the child. Even then she’d known it would be different when she had her own.
And she would have her own. Her own babies that she would never have to give back.
It never occurred to her that she could suffer from the same infertility that plagued her gender. Not at that age, and not when she grew older and started to spend time with the boy who sat next to her in class.
She never doubted she was destined to be a mother.
The very first time she’d held one of her own, she’d been exhausted and hurting and she’d cried. It was the culmination of a dream and the euphoria had surpassed the discomfort, or the memory of pain.
She’d been reluctant to let him go, even for a moment. Alan had been lucky to even catch a glimpse of his son, those first few days.
Joseph, she’d called him, after her father. And he’d been the most beautiful baby she’d ever seen, even when he screamed and hollered and kept her up all night. He’d been hers and he deserved all the love and comfort she could provide.
She’d felt the same way about every one of her children.
Even the ones she’d lost.
She brought the bundle close and breathed in.
There was something about the baby smell, and the baby warmth, that went straight to her heart. It was every child she’d ever held, right here in her arms.
He was still warm, but he wouldn’t be for much longer.
Such a small, fragile thing.
She wrapped the blanket tighter round the little boy, reluctant to let him go. He deserved to be held, just a little while longer.
Just for a little while.
She held the infant close and watched Jeff working on Trey, Jared, pale, moving mechanically next to him. Passing the doctor whatever he requested.
Jared was a puzzle she had yet to solve, but for now, she wasn’t interested in looking for the pieces.
Trey was quiet, mercifully unconscious. Jeff hadn’t had a problem administering the sedatives once it was safe to do so – once there was no more danger of life being lost.
Trey would survive this … even if he didn’t want to.
Part 43
Title: Desperate Times (42/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
A/N: Cast of this story available here.
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.) Oh, and I believe in happy endings!
A/N2: Finally, a finished chapter. It's been a week since I updated - I NEVER leave it that long, but, heck, is this time of year busy or what? I honestly can't tell you, at this point, when the next update will be. I have ten days before I go away .. I should be able to update at least twice in ten days *fingers well and truly crossed*.
I would put extra warnings on this chapter ... but I don't think those of you who are following this story are going to be completely surprised by what happens.
It hadn’t even been a half hour, but it felt like a lifetime had passed.
Jensen refused to eat, hadn’t wanted a drink when it was placed in front of him and he wouldn’t engage them in conversation. His emotions swung between the extremes of angry and desperate.
He’d begged, shouted, pleaded and threatened.
He’d been sitting for less than five minutes when he struggled back to his feet, “I can’t just sit here. I can’t…”
Joe beat him to the door, “You’re not going over there, Jen. We agreed.”
“I didn’t bloody agree to anything. You all did, behind my back, but I wasn’t consulted so how on Earth could I agree?”
Alan listened to the replay of an earlier conversation between his sons, and concentrated on building up the fire. It was getting colder all the time. The snows had finally fallen and they probably wouldn’t see the green beneath the blanket of white for at least a couple of weeks.
Another agonized scream provoked silence in the room and Alan knew it was right to keep Jensen here, away from the spectacle and trauma of the birth.
“He wanted me there, Joe. He was scared. He…”
Alan stood with his back to the flames and watched Joseph’s hands come up to restrain Jensen as he reached for the handle.
He could see Joseph was holding back, too afraid of hurting his brother to put his full weight behind the move. Too afraid of bruising the tired, emotional young man Jensen had become. But Alan could see that Jensen was fully aware of his brother’s concession, and he knew his youngest son well enough to acknowledge he might just take advantage of that weakness.
Jensen pushed.
Joseph didn’t push back.
But it wasn’t enough.
Joseph had always been larger than his brother, stronger, and now, given the way things were, there was very little effort required for him to accomplish his goal.
Jensen was just getting more and more agitated, and Alan stepped in now that it was obvious Joseph had run out of ideas to placate his brother.
“Jensen. Just stop.”
Jensen responded to his father’s voice the way he always had. His arms dropped to his sides and his head bowed. He doubted Jensen was even aware of the angry, frustrated tears that fell from his eyes, and Alan refused to let them have an impact on his resolve. He approached both his boys, and placed his hand on Jensen’s arm, drawing him away from the door and letting Joseph relax his stance.
“Dad?”
His boy’s voice was broken, choked.
Alan refused to be swayed.
As much as Trey wanted Jensen with him, as much as Jensen had expressed a desire to grant that request, everyone had agreed that Jensen should be kept away, shielded from the experience in case it heightened his fear and concern over the impending birth of his own children.
Both Donna and Jared had agreed to help Jeffrey with Trey.
Donna wouldn’t admit that she’d grown fond of the sulky teenager, but she never balked at the angry, bitten off insults that were frequently hurled in her direction. She had been more than happy to step in and replace Jensen as hand-holder, insisting that the boy needed a mother figure there, someone who’d been through child birth and come out the other side virtually unscathed.
Besides, she needed the distraction.
They’d not heard from Joshua in the weeks since his departure and it played on everyone’s minds. Especially as Sam had left before the onset of the first blizzard and communication lines, in and out of camp, had slowed to almost a stand still since ‘The Network’ started making plans.
Jared was assisting Jeff because he needed help from someone who wouldn’t pass out or panic. Alan wasn’t sure how Jared qualified, but he knew determination when he saw it.
Jensen was all the motivation Jared required.
No offence to the boy, but Trey had done nothing to enhance his popularity and he’d become, at least in Alan’s opinion, a way for both of them to prepare for what was to befall Jensen.
Trey was practice.
Alan felt stinging regret at that. The boy had nobody with him who didn’t have an ulterior motive. He had no family, no true friends. Jensen would’ve been that for him, a person who put him first, but Jensen wasn’t there. And maybe that hurt Jensen more than being there would have.
But they’d made a decision and he wasn’t going to back down.
Jensen had to be his main concern.
Had to be.
His son would know, soon enough, what was happening over in that cabin. He would know, first hand, what Trey was experiencing. It was something he couldn’t be protected from.
Alan knew what was involved, he’d had Jeff explain what was going to happen so he knew the dangers and risks – he didn’t need to see it for himself. Didn’t need to know what caused those agonized screams, not when, in a few weeks, they’d belong to his youngest child.
He led Jensen towards the couch and forced him to sit down and take the weight off his already swollen ankles.
Jensen’s girth seemed to be expanding daily. Alan was almost certain Donna had been near full term by the time she’d carried this much weight, though, admittedly, she’d never put on a lot of weight during pregnancy – and she hadn’t been expecting twins.
“Dad, I’ve got to …”
“No, Jensen. You don’t. Trey’s got your momma with him. And Jared.”
Jensen didn’t want to listen, but Alan could see his son was flagging.
He’d stayed awake with Trey most of the night, coaxing and cajoling the reluctant young man into accepting what was happening. He’d offered comfort and reassurance with each fresh surge of pain, even as the boy remained stubbornly in the realm of denial. When morning finally arrived, and Trey had surrendered himself to Jeff, Jensen had looked as if sleep would claim him at any moment.
It hadn’t.
Jensen hadn’t given it a chance to. “But it’s me he wanted. I promised.”
“Then you shouldn’t have. And he shouldn’t have made you.”
Alan watched as Joseph turned the key in the door, pocketing it. Jensen was too distressed to notice.
“Lie down, son. You should be having that nap Jeff prescribed, about now.”
Jensen glared from his father to his brother. Both of them immovable, impassable.
He stifled a yawn, “I’ll lie down, but I won’t sleep. How’d you expect me to be able to sleep?”
“That’s okay. Lying down means you’re resting a little.” Alan smiled to himself as he lifted the blanket from the back of the chair and placed it over his recumbent son. It had worked this way when Jensen was little. All you ever really needed to do was make him stop, stand still, give sleep a chance to catch up.
Jensen stared at the ceiling of the cabin.
Alan waited.
It wasn’t long before Jensen’s eyes slipped shut.
The very first time Donna held a baby she’d been seven years old and it had belonged to her cousin, Annette. Her mother had sat there, right next to her, as the baby had screamed and squawked, offering to take her back, but Donna had delighted in the feel of the little girl in her arms.
She’d held her and breathed her in and then she’d handed her back. It hadn’t been hard because she hadn’t really had any connection to the child. Even then she’d known it would be different when she had her own.
And she would have her own. Her own babies that she would never have to give back.
It never occurred to her that she could suffer from the same infertility that plagued her gender. Not at that age, and not when she grew older and started to spend time with the boy who sat next to her in class.
She never doubted she was destined to be a mother.
The very first time she’d held one of her own, she’d been exhausted and hurting and she’d cried. It was the culmination of a dream and the euphoria had surpassed the discomfort, or the memory of pain.
She’d been reluctant to let him go, even for a moment. Alan had been lucky to even catch a glimpse of his son, those first few days.
Joseph, she’d called him, after her father. And he’d been the most beautiful baby she’d ever seen, even when he screamed and hollered and kept her up all night. He’d been hers and he deserved all the love and comfort she could provide.
She’d felt the same way about every one of her children.
Even the ones she’d lost.
She brought the bundle close and breathed in.
There was something about the baby smell, and the baby warmth, that went straight to her heart. It was every child she’d ever held, right here in her arms.
He was still warm, but he wouldn’t be for much longer.
Such a small, fragile thing.
She wrapped the blanket tighter round the little boy, reluctant to let him go. He deserved to be held, just a little while longer.
Just for a little while.
She held the infant close and watched Jeff working on Trey, Jared, pale, moving mechanically next to him. Passing the doctor whatever he requested.
Jared was a puzzle she had yet to solve, but for now, she wasn’t interested in looking for the pieces.
Trey was quiet, mercifully unconscious. Jeff hadn’t had a problem administering the sedatives once it was safe to do so – once there was no more danger of life being lost.
Trey would survive this … even if he didn’t want to.
Part 43
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Date: 2008-12-09 11:22 pm (UTC)