Desperate Times - 31
Oct. 15th, 2008 11:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hemrageChapter 30 here.
Title: Desperate Times (31/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.)
Jensen burrowed deeper, hiding his head beneath the comforter. The bed was still Jared warm, but it wouldn’t be long before that wonderful heat dissipated and Jensen would feel the chill again. Until then he was going to take full advantage of it – at least until he could talk Jared into climbing back into bed and keeping him warm personally.
The intensity of that thought, and the way his body reacted to it, made him blush, but with no-one around to see it he chose to ignore that the notion had even occurred to him.
He couldn’t believe the way his body had begun to react to even the thought of sex. It was as if it had been starved and it had suddenly been invited to a banquet… it couldn’t get enough.
And Jared was the only item on the menu.
Though, the way he felt, the thought was all his demanding body was going to get.
His head hurt, his back ached, and his body’s ability to regulate his temperature was completely on the fritz - burning up one minute, freezing the next. Jensen had finally admitted that there was a chance – a possibility - that the cold he’d insisted he had, was – maybe - blossoming into a case of the flu.
He hadn’t even fought Jared about being allowed up this morning.
He closed his eyes, more than happy to allow sleep to claim him. His mind wandered and he attempted to steer it away from the direction it seemed to be drawn to lately.
He was on the cusp of consciousness when a noise, voices, broke into his torpor. The moment his head ventured outside the covers he regretted it, retreated again. He needed to remember to tell Jared that the drapes needed closing. It was just too bright and his head, his eyes, complained viciously.
His stomach churned. Pain radiated from his temples by way of his gut, stirring it, and its non existent contents, up. He breathed through his mouth, slow steady breaths, determined to combat the nausea. The queasiness had to be because he was sick since morning sickness had been blessedly absent for the last few days.
His hand rested on the bump growing below his navel. Not even Jared’s hand could cover it now, not the way it bowed out from hipbone to hipbone.
There was a baby in there.
His baby.
Someone tiny, fragile and helpless.
Someone who would rely on him to take care of them….
Them?
He cursed the hormones that suddenly made him want to cry. Because it had to be hormones, couldn’t be anything else.
They’d been there again last night... the little boy and girl. Spinning round and round, laughing, chattering away in words too soft, too quiet, to be heard. It wasn’t a nightmare. It wasn’t. The joy they brought with them should have lifted his spirits, but their appearances left him empty, hollow.
They were innocence in a world that had no room for it.
Hope in a world where there was none.
Sorrow assaulted him when he woke from their visits, grief for what couldn’t be …
Wouldn’t be.
What kind of parent would he make? He didn’t have a clue where to start. The future that was coming to meet him wasn’t anything like the one he’d envisioned, the one he’d seen in his head from the age of fifteen.
He sniffed.
Closed his eyes.
His hand stilled, imagined movement beneath it.
How big was it?
Karl’s daughter had been this far along when he’d failed her.
Could there really be twins in there?
He knew he should go to Jeff, knew it. Yet the thought of going to him, lying down, letting himself be that vulnerable again, terrified him.
He didn’t care if he was being irrational, or unreasonable, or .. whatever the hell both Jeff and Jared thought he was being.
If he had to do it… he knew he had to do it… if he had to do it, he’d do it when he was ready – not before.
He knew he was crying. Knew tears had slipped past his defenses.
Fucking hormones.
When sleep came he welcomed the escape and comfort that accompanied it.
Trey sat on the porch, the bulk in front of him not really allowing him to stray too far from the nearest bathroom. Not that his legs, or his back, weren’t conspiring to make sure that he couldn’t do that anyway.
He was tempted to insist that Jeff gave him something for the pain, insist that he needed something strong and effective before he was driven insane. But who was he trying to kid? Jeff had already given him a lecture about what he could and couldn’t take ‘in his condition’.
None of this crap was fair.
Not being stuck in this cabin in the middle of nowhere.
Not being this bloated and cumbersome.
Not needing a piss every ten minutes.
He hadn’t seen Jensen in a couple of days. Sick, Jared said. Avoiding him more like. That wasn’t fair either. What the hell was Jensen thinking? Actually sleeping with one of these assholes willingly?
Trey had Jensen’s best interests at heart. Jensen just wasn’t willing to listen. Not yet.
Trey shivered and pulled the blanket higher, round his shoulders. He stared at his stomach with disgust as the blanket draped on either side of it.
That … lump. The source of all his problems.
He remembered his first night in confinement, the way they’d held him down. Taken turns. They’d been so careful not to damage him. But he’d never stopped fighting.
No-one was ever going to fuck him like that again.
Not like Jensen was getting fucked.
Jensen had been brainwashed, that was what it was. He was confused, but he’d come to his senses soon enough. Though Jensen was older than him he knew Jensen had been inexperienced when he’d gone inside. He knew no better. But one day he would. He’d realize he didn’t have to do what Jared wanted and he’d tell him to leave him alone – send him away. And Jensen didn’t have to worry about being on his own with his kid. If that was what was bothering him, Trey would help him.
They’d help each other.
Until then, until Jensen came round, he was on his own.
Alone.
He winced as the baby kicked him, a sharp pain radiated up his back and merged with the ache that was a constant companion. The kid was determined to cripple him. It didn’t let him sleep. It played football with his kidneys, and cut off all communication with his legs without warning.
Little bastard.
He felt the need for the bathroom seconds later as the baby settled and sat on his bladder, just before it kicked him again.
Hard.
“Stop it you little fucker, I’ve not forgotten you’re there, alright?” He hissed at the bump.
The baby quieted as he rubbed his stomach, walked back into the cabin.
He smiled.
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t completely on his own.
Jostled and thrown around in her seat, Donna never took her eyes off the dense trees around them. She peered into the darkened spaces, looked for something, anything, that would tell her they’d finally arrived.
She thought it incredible that the vehicle they were in could cope with this terrain. Not when it had struggled on straight, flat roads. It hadn’t stopped yet – though the suspension, what little it had, was certainly getting a work out.
Andy cursed from the driver’s seat as he swerved to avoid a fallen tree and she shook her head. She’d long since given up getting annoyed at his colorful language. As long as her boys restrained themselves – and Joseph had, at least in her presence – she would cope. It wasn’t as if she’d never used bad language herself – though not when her children – or anyone from the church - could hear her.
She saw it then. A cabin. Overgrown and abandoned. There was another just a little beyond it, then a third.
They turned just after that one. Swung up and around into a clearing. She could see a fourth cabin, and they parked between the two. Smoke rose from the chimneys of both.
Her baby boy was inside one of them and she had to resist the urge to go out running, screaming, for him to come to her. She didn’t want to upset the boy, overwhelm him. She’d already told Alan and the boys that she wanted to see Jensen alone first. Needed a minute with him before she shared him with everyone else.
Alan had accepted it – she’d insisted on it once before.
She allowed herself to wonder just who her son was living with. Just who lived here, in the cabins with Jensen? But the answers didn’t need to come now. They weren’t as important as seeing Jensen, knowing he was alright.
“We’re not exactly expected.” Andy said as he turned off the engine, opened the door.
Joseph had already made it outside and he took hold of Andy’s arm, spun him round, as the others climbed out. “Are you saying Jensen isn’t here?”
Andy shook him off, hands up, placating. “No, just that he didn’t know you were coming. You’ll be a nice surprise for him.”
“Andy?”
Donna grabbed hold of Alan’s hand and looked towards the furthest cabin. A very tall young man approached, taller than Joshua, than Joseph even, but he seemed friendly enough. He looked wary at first, but he relaxed when he got closer, saw Andy’s relaxed manner.
Joseph needed to stop being so aggressive – it made such a bad first impression.
A smile sprang up on Andy’s face. He clapped his hands together then held his arms out in welcome, “Jared, man. How’re you doing?”
Andy clasped the young man’s, Jared’s, hand. He smiled as Jared grinned. “We’re doing great.”
As Jared turned to them, a question evident on his face, Andy began the introductions. “Allow me to introduce you to Jensen’s family.”
Jared paled slightly, before he managed to compose himself. A smile returned to his face, though it didn’t possess the warmth of its predecessor, and Donna didn’t miss the way his shoulders tensed and his hands curled into fists when Alan passed between them.
When Alan held his hand out Jared’s nervousness abated, “I’m Alan, Jensen’s father. This is Donna, Joseph and Joshua.”
Jared shook Alan’s hand, hers too, before nodding his acknowledgement to Jensen’s brothers.
Donna was curious as to why the boy looked so uneasy, but she pushed it aside, stepped forward. She placed her hand on Alan’s back before leaning closer to the tall young man. “I don’t mean to be rude, Jared is it? But where’s my son?”
Jared lead the woman, Jensen’s mother, she’s Jensen’s mother, into the cabin and walked to the door of the bedroom he shared with her son.
Will she be able to tell that we share a bed? Why didn’t we know they were coming? Damn it.
He stood at the door, rested his hand on the handle but didn’t turn it. Jensen would be sleeping, he needed his sleep.
He turned to her, “He’s been a little unwell.”
“Is it serious?”
Jared shook his head. He didn’t mean to worry her, just explain. “Flu, maybe.” His voice was weak, too quiet.
Donna nodded but Jared was still reluctant to open the door, share what was his with anyone else.
Are you going to take him away from me? He’s mine and I’m his. Please don’t take him away from me.
He could tell she was impatient, and as her hand settled on his arm he moved to one side, stopped blocking her way in.
He’s not mine. I’ve got no right, no right.
Jared felt sad, sick.
Jensen would be happy, he would. He wanted to see his mom – his family. As the cabin door behind him opened again, the rest of the Ackles family entering, Donna slipped into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
All Jared could do was wait.
She closed the door, shutting out the outside world. Alan, her boys, were out there and they wanted to see Jensen too, but she needed this. Needed to make sure he was alright before they came in here.
This wasn’t the first time she’d almost lost him. It wasn’t the first time he’d been returned to her.
She held back, couldn’t convince her feet that they needed to move. That they needed to take her, over there, to where her son was lying.
That was Jensen.
Her baby.
But what would he be like? Would he blame her for not being able to save him from this? Would he be broken by everything he’d been through? What could she say to make this easier for him? To make things alright again?
She took a deep breath and walked toward him. She’d given him life once, she could do it again if she needed to.
With a silent prayer she sat on the bed and reached out, tentatively. Rubbed his back through the bedding.
He stirred briefly, and then stilled. “Jensen. Jensen baby, wake up.”
His body stiffened but he didn’t move or acknowledge her presence. For a moment she thought he may not have woken, that he’d moved in his sleep.
Then his body rolled towards hers.
Green eyes, uncertain, confused, met hers.
She reached out, touched the tear track on his cheek.
“Mama?”
She cupped his face and bowed down to kiss his forehead.
“I got you baby. I got you.”
Part 32
Title: Desperate Times (31/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.)
Jensen burrowed deeper, hiding his head beneath the comforter. The bed was still Jared warm, but it wouldn’t be long before that wonderful heat dissipated and Jensen would feel the chill again. Until then he was going to take full advantage of it – at least until he could talk Jared into climbing back into bed and keeping him warm personally.
The intensity of that thought, and the way his body reacted to it, made him blush, but with no-one around to see it he chose to ignore that the notion had even occurred to him.
He couldn’t believe the way his body had begun to react to even the thought of sex. It was as if it had been starved and it had suddenly been invited to a banquet… it couldn’t get enough.
And Jared was the only item on the menu.
Though, the way he felt, the thought was all his demanding body was going to get.
His head hurt, his back ached, and his body’s ability to regulate his temperature was completely on the fritz - burning up one minute, freezing the next. Jensen had finally admitted that there was a chance – a possibility - that the cold he’d insisted he had, was – maybe - blossoming into a case of the flu.
He hadn’t even fought Jared about being allowed up this morning.
He closed his eyes, more than happy to allow sleep to claim him. His mind wandered and he attempted to steer it away from the direction it seemed to be drawn to lately.
He was on the cusp of consciousness when a noise, voices, broke into his torpor. The moment his head ventured outside the covers he regretted it, retreated again. He needed to remember to tell Jared that the drapes needed closing. It was just too bright and his head, his eyes, complained viciously.
His stomach churned. Pain radiated from his temples by way of his gut, stirring it, and its non existent contents, up. He breathed through his mouth, slow steady breaths, determined to combat the nausea. The queasiness had to be because he was sick since morning sickness had been blessedly absent for the last few days.
His hand rested on the bump growing below his navel. Not even Jared’s hand could cover it now, not the way it bowed out from hipbone to hipbone.
There was a baby in there.
His baby.
Someone tiny, fragile and helpless.
Someone who would rely on him to take care of them….
Them?
He cursed the hormones that suddenly made him want to cry. Because it had to be hormones, couldn’t be anything else.
They’d been there again last night... the little boy and girl. Spinning round and round, laughing, chattering away in words too soft, too quiet, to be heard. It wasn’t a nightmare. It wasn’t. The joy they brought with them should have lifted his spirits, but their appearances left him empty, hollow.
They were innocence in a world that had no room for it.
Hope in a world where there was none.
Sorrow assaulted him when he woke from their visits, grief for what couldn’t be …
Wouldn’t be.
What kind of parent would he make? He didn’t have a clue where to start. The future that was coming to meet him wasn’t anything like the one he’d envisioned, the one he’d seen in his head from the age of fifteen.
He sniffed.
Closed his eyes.
His hand stilled, imagined movement beneath it.
How big was it?
Karl’s daughter had been this far along when he’d failed her.
Could there really be twins in there?
He knew he should go to Jeff, knew it. Yet the thought of going to him, lying down, letting himself be that vulnerable again, terrified him.
He didn’t care if he was being irrational, or unreasonable, or .. whatever the hell both Jeff and Jared thought he was being.
If he had to do it… he knew he had to do it… if he had to do it, he’d do it when he was ready – not before.
He knew he was crying. Knew tears had slipped past his defenses.
Fucking hormones.
When sleep came he welcomed the escape and comfort that accompanied it.
Trey sat on the porch, the bulk in front of him not really allowing him to stray too far from the nearest bathroom. Not that his legs, or his back, weren’t conspiring to make sure that he couldn’t do that anyway.
He was tempted to insist that Jeff gave him something for the pain, insist that he needed something strong and effective before he was driven insane. But who was he trying to kid? Jeff had already given him a lecture about what he could and couldn’t take ‘in his condition’.
None of this crap was fair.
Not being stuck in this cabin in the middle of nowhere.
Not being this bloated and cumbersome.
Not needing a piss every ten minutes.
He hadn’t seen Jensen in a couple of days. Sick, Jared said. Avoiding him more like. That wasn’t fair either. What the hell was Jensen thinking? Actually sleeping with one of these assholes willingly?
Trey had Jensen’s best interests at heart. Jensen just wasn’t willing to listen. Not yet.
Trey shivered and pulled the blanket higher, round his shoulders. He stared at his stomach with disgust as the blanket draped on either side of it.
That … lump. The source of all his problems.
He remembered his first night in confinement, the way they’d held him down. Taken turns. They’d been so careful not to damage him. But he’d never stopped fighting.
No-one was ever going to fuck him like that again.
Not like Jensen was getting fucked.
Jensen had been brainwashed, that was what it was. He was confused, but he’d come to his senses soon enough. Though Jensen was older than him he knew Jensen had been inexperienced when he’d gone inside. He knew no better. But one day he would. He’d realize he didn’t have to do what Jared wanted and he’d tell him to leave him alone – send him away. And Jensen didn’t have to worry about being on his own with his kid. If that was what was bothering him, Trey would help him.
They’d help each other.
Until then, until Jensen came round, he was on his own.
Alone.
He winced as the baby kicked him, a sharp pain radiated up his back and merged with the ache that was a constant companion. The kid was determined to cripple him. It didn’t let him sleep. It played football with his kidneys, and cut off all communication with his legs without warning.
Little bastard.
He felt the need for the bathroom seconds later as the baby settled and sat on his bladder, just before it kicked him again.
Hard.
“Stop it you little fucker, I’ve not forgotten you’re there, alright?” He hissed at the bump.
The baby quieted as he rubbed his stomach, walked back into the cabin.
He smiled.
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t completely on his own.
Jostled and thrown around in her seat, Donna never took her eyes off the dense trees around them. She peered into the darkened spaces, looked for something, anything, that would tell her they’d finally arrived.
She thought it incredible that the vehicle they were in could cope with this terrain. Not when it had struggled on straight, flat roads. It hadn’t stopped yet – though the suspension, what little it had, was certainly getting a work out.
Andy cursed from the driver’s seat as he swerved to avoid a fallen tree and she shook her head. She’d long since given up getting annoyed at his colorful language. As long as her boys restrained themselves – and Joseph had, at least in her presence – she would cope. It wasn’t as if she’d never used bad language herself – though not when her children – or anyone from the church - could hear her.
She saw it then. A cabin. Overgrown and abandoned. There was another just a little beyond it, then a third.
They turned just after that one. Swung up and around into a clearing. She could see a fourth cabin, and they parked between the two. Smoke rose from the chimneys of both.
Her baby boy was inside one of them and she had to resist the urge to go out running, screaming, for him to come to her. She didn’t want to upset the boy, overwhelm him. She’d already told Alan and the boys that she wanted to see Jensen alone first. Needed a minute with him before she shared him with everyone else.
Alan had accepted it – she’d insisted on it once before.
She allowed herself to wonder just who her son was living with. Just who lived here, in the cabins with Jensen? But the answers didn’t need to come now. They weren’t as important as seeing Jensen, knowing he was alright.
“We’re not exactly expected.” Andy said as he turned off the engine, opened the door.
Joseph had already made it outside and he took hold of Andy’s arm, spun him round, as the others climbed out. “Are you saying Jensen isn’t here?”
Andy shook him off, hands up, placating. “No, just that he didn’t know you were coming. You’ll be a nice surprise for him.”
“Andy?”
Donna grabbed hold of Alan’s hand and looked towards the furthest cabin. A very tall young man approached, taller than Joshua, than Joseph even, but he seemed friendly enough. He looked wary at first, but he relaxed when he got closer, saw Andy’s relaxed manner.
Joseph needed to stop being so aggressive – it made such a bad first impression.
A smile sprang up on Andy’s face. He clapped his hands together then held his arms out in welcome, “Jared, man. How’re you doing?”
Andy clasped the young man’s, Jared’s, hand. He smiled as Jared grinned. “We’re doing great.”
As Jared turned to them, a question evident on his face, Andy began the introductions. “Allow me to introduce you to Jensen’s family.”
Jared paled slightly, before he managed to compose himself. A smile returned to his face, though it didn’t possess the warmth of its predecessor, and Donna didn’t miss the way his shoulders tensed and his hands curled into fists when Alan passed between them.
When Alan held his hand out Jared’s nervousness abated, “I’m Alan, Jensen’s father. This is Donna, Joseph and Joshua.”
Jared shook Alan’s hand, hers too, before nodding his acknowledgement to Jensen’s brothers.
Donna was curious as to why the boy looked so uneasy, but she pushed it aside, stepped forward. She placed her hand on Alan’s back before leaning closer to the tall young man. “I don’t mean to be rude, Jared is it? But where’s my son?”
Jared lead the woman, Jensen’s mother, she’s Jensen’s mother, into the cabin and walked to the door of the bedroom he shared with her son.
Will she be able to tell that we share a bed? Why didn’t we know they were coming? Damn it.
He stood at the door, rested his hand on the handle but didn’t turn it. Jensen would be sleeping, he needed his sleep.
He turned to her, “He’s been a little unwell.”
“Is it serious?”
Jared shook his head. He didn’t mean to worry her, just explain. “Flu, maybe.” His voice was weak, too quiet.
Donna nodded but Jared was still reluctant to open the door, share what was his with anyone else.
Are you going to take him away from me? He’s mine and I’m his. Please don’t take him away from me.
He could tell she was impatient, and as her hand settled on his arm he moved to one side, stopped blocking her way in.
He’s not mine. I’ve got no right, no right.
Jared felt sad, sick.
Jensen would be happy, he would. He wanted to see his mom – his family. As the cabin door behind him opened again, the rest of the Ackles family entering, Donna slipped into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
All Jared could do was wait.
She closed the door, shutting out the outside world. Alan, her boys, were out there and they wanted to see Jensen too, but she needed this. Needed to make sure he was alright before they came in here.
This wasn’t the first time she’d almost lost him. It wasn’t the first time he’d been returned to her.
She held back, couldn’t convince her feet that they needed to move. That they needed to take her, over there, to where her son was lying.
That was Jensen.
Her baby.
But what would he be like? Would he blame her for not being able to save him from this? Would he be broken by everything he’d been through? What could she say to make this easier for him? To make things alright again?
She took a deep breath and walked toward him. She’d given him life once, she could do it again if she needed to.
With a silent prayer she sat on the bed and reached out, tentatively. Rubbed his back through the bedding.
He stirred briefly, and then stilled. “Jensen. Jensen baby, wake up.”
His body stiffened but he didn’t move or acknowledge her presence. For a moment she thought he may not have woken, that he’d moved in his sleep.
Then his body rolled towards hers.
Green eyes, uncertain, confused, met hers.
She reached out, touched the tear track on his cheek.
“Mama?”
She cupped his face and bowed down to kiss his forehead.
“I got you baby. I got you.”
Part 32
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 07:39 pm (UTC)Love that his family's finally there, but I'm afraid they're not gonna take to Jared very well. *bites nails* I hope I'm wrong. Jensen needs everyone working together right now. yeah, wishful thinking. sigh.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-26 10:29 pm (UTC)