Desperate Times - 27
Oct. 2nd, 2008 11:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hemrageChapter 26 here.
Title: Desperate Times (27/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Acts of terrorism, violence, murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters, so Jared and Jensen are safe)
Jack threw down the book he was reading, pushed himself back further onto his bed, and rolled his eyes, before banging the back of his head against the wall – repeatedly.
How could he be expected to concentrate with that racket going on?
Trey was shouting again, muted, admittedly, through the solid wood of the door, but still shouting. He heard Jensen’s voice too, but Jensen was quieter, placating. That man had to have the patience of a saint not to bite back, not to retaliate and stand up for himself. Jack really couldn’t understand why Jensen didn’t tell the sniveling little shit where to get off. Or to at least ‘Fuck off’, at any rate.
Jack had done his best to avoid the kid whenever possible – choosing to spend his time with Jared, and occasionally with Jeff, if the need for company outweighed his need for peace. Admittedly those instances were rare …
Something smashed ... from the sound of it there would be fewer glasses in the kitchen. Just because he was pregnant didn’t mean he should be able to get away with the daily tantrums.
But he did get away with them.
Who, after all, was going to put him right? Sam and Jared were distracted by their own dramas, and the boy wasn’t listening to Jeff. Jensen? Well, he supposed Jensen had tried, but Trey wasn’t prepared to listen to anything Jensen said either.
In the weeks he’d spent with him, Jack had actually grown to like Jensen – what was there not to like? But he’d managed to avoid getting attached emotionally. It hadn’t been wise when he had Tom waiting for him – and after, when Tom was no longer waiting, but his son was.
There was no point in developing feelings for Jensen when they’d inevitably be separated.
It had been wise to push Jared towards him. The right idea to have them bond. It was just a shame that, when Jensen was returned to the Center, or the Farm, or wherever the hell the authorities would take him, Jared would get hurt.
It was unavoidable, that hurt – which was a small regret – because he genuinely liked Jared. Jared was the closest thing to a friend he had around here. The closest thing to a friend he’d had anywhere in a long time, when he came to think about it more honestly.
He’d lost everything because of the breeding program.
He’d been labeled everything from whore to rapist. The veneer of his once respectable life had been ripped away and he’d been left with nothing but crap. His career had gone first. All his dedication and hard work disregarded as promotions passed him by, went to lesser men who wouldn’t leave for months at a time with virtually no notice. Personal relationships had suffered too as he’d had nothing in common with family, or friends, after long separations. They moved on without him.
People who knew what he was, not who he was, hurled abuse, insults, and he’d learned … no, not not to care, just not to show that he did.
He’d also learned that there was often great satisfaction to be had in retribution.
He’d lost track of the number of fights he’d been involved in because people couldn’t keep their narrow minded opinions to themselves. Lost track of the number of times he’d been picked up by police on assault charges when his temper got the better of him.
Tom had been a chance for him to move on. Start again. But he was lost to him now.
Like Jensen, he’d been a reluctant participant in the breeding program. Unlike Jensen he’d fought – well, he had at first.
He’d learned not to.
Behind closed eye lids he saw Tom’s face the first time he’d given himself willingly and felt his cock begin to harden.
He licked his lips, about to welcome the return of this rare visitor with a warm hand, when he was interrupted.
Something else was breaking out there ... plates rather than glasses.
Fuck!
Anger bloomed, a red flower obscuring his vision.
Did he regret betraying these people?
It was only a betrayal if you were in a position of trust, loyal. He’d never been loyal to them. Never made a single promise. Sure, it was a shame that people were getting hurt, but the benefits of his actions far outweighed any sense of guilt.
Sarah had probably been a very nice woman, she’d given that impression, but he didn’t pull the trigger on the gun that killed her. He refused to accept culpability. She’d chosen to walk a dangerous path – she had to know the possible destination.
A door slammed and the volume picked up. Jack had had e-fucking-nough. He clambored off the bed and walked to the door, opened it before he took a moment to calm himself.
He couldn’t go in there raring for a fight.
Couldn’t go in there when he was likely to throw a punch.
“You can’t tell me you’re going to be sharing a room with him?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”
Jack’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the door, forehead pressed against the wood as he concentrated on taking a series of calm, soothing breaths.
“But there’s a bed for you in my room.”
“It’s your room Trey. You’re a grown up, you can cope with sleeping in a room on your own.”
“But I don’t want …”
“I know you don’t – but you’re being unreasonable. I have the right to…”
“What? Let Jared fuck you?” There was venomous disgust in every syllable.
“If that’s what I want then, yes, I have that right.”
“You’re a priest.”
“No. No, I’m not.”
Fists clenched, Jack stepped through the door, intent on looking calm and non-confrontational. Trey would probably launch something from the kitchen in his direction, but he had to make sure he could hold back the rage that wanted to take control.
One step, two. Small, even paces. He wasn’t in a hurry.
“Are you letting him fuck you ‘cause you’re pregnant?”
He stopped.
Still.
Held his breath.
He couldn’t have heard what he thought he heard.
He leant back against the wall, where he couldn’t be seen, and listened. He needed confirmation.
There was a pause before Jensen spoke. His voice was deeper, quieter, more controlled. He was trying, and failing, to rein in the righteous anger that Trey provoked.
“That’s got nothing to do with this. Fuck it Trey, Jared might not even be the father.”
Either Trey didn’t take the hint, or he ignored it. He continued to shout, not caring if someone overheard. Not caring that the man he chose as an ally was being hurt by every word. “So if Jack, or Sam, wanted to fuck you you’d let them?”
The silence reached him then and Jack had to fight the temptation to see what was happening, to step out from his hiding place and cheer Jensen on.
In his mind’s eye he imagined Jensen hitting the spoiled egotistical brat, knocking him to the floor.
It was unrealistic, he knew it would never happen, but he enjoyed the image as it danced round inside his head.
He heard the front door open.
When Jensen spoke again he sounded defeated.
“Just …. Just grow up.”
He slipped back to his room and closed the door – his mind played back the words he’d just heard.
Jensen was pregnant!
Pregnant!
And there was just as much of a chance that the baby was Jack’s as anyone else’s.
He had to rethink his plans.
Jared had had enough, he had to tell Sam. He’d sat for what felt like ages trying to regain his composure after their last discussion and, in the end, he’d tried to find him. Tried to seek out the older man, but Sam had made himself scarce.
Hadn’t wanted to be found.
Jared had spent the rest of the evening in Jensen’s company and, though Jensen had asked him what was wrong, Jared hadn’t been able to tell him.
He wanted to enjoy every minute he spent in Jensen’s company. Wanted to savor every smile that crossed Jensen’s face. Every piece of personal information shared.
He’d held Jensen close all night, watched him breathe. Listened to the sighs and watched the fluttered eyelashes as Jared stroked his stomach.
There’d been no nightmares.
For a little while, at least, Jensen seemed to be doing okay and Jared didn’t want to be the cause of more worry.
Trey was enough of a concern for Jensen, anyway. That boy was unbelievable. He’d successfully kept himself distant from every other man in the camp – he only wanted Jensen and, as far as he was concerned, Jensen was his. They were the same – Gestates – and no other man, especially Inseminates, could be trusted.
They’d gone to collect Jensen’s things from Trey’s room when Trey had started screaming abuse. Jensen had advised Jared to leave as soon as Trey referred to him as a rapist … and he had.
Jensen had Trey to deal with, Jared had Sam.
Wherever the hell he was.
He wandered towards the lake and saw Jeff, rod in hand, bait box and spare lying on the ground.
Though he’d been tempted to approach the doctor he steered clear, walked in the opposite direction, further round the lake’s shoreline.
He needed to think through what he wanted to say, the walk let him do that. He didn’t want to make excuses, he just needed to state what had happened and hope that Sam didn’t hurt him too badly afterwards.
When he reached a familiar break in the trees he ventured away from the water and into the forest. He’d explored the area a little while he’d been staying at the cabin, he hadn’t had much else to do as he’d been keeping himself away from Jensen, and he knew a route that would get him back to the cabins in less than a half hour.
One of the unoccupied cabins came into view first and Jared could just about make out his quarry, sitting silently, on the back porch step.
Jared approached from the side, out of Sam’s line of sight, but he wasn’t silent. Sam had to know he was there. Had to hear the creak of the old wood as Jared stepped up onto the porch and approached Sam from behind.
Sam didn’t turn – didn’t acknowledge he existed – just sat and stared at… well, Jared couldn’t see what he was staring at. There was certainly nothing interesting in the tumble of leaves across the ground, or in the shadows beneath the trees.
It was possibly the peace that had brought Sam out here. You couldn’t hear Trey at all, and maybe Sam was reflecting on … his losses, and didn’t want to be disturbed. But Jared had to speak now. He had to say what he’d done and get it over with. If he wanted any kind of future with Jensen they couldn’t have Sam, and his vengeance, hanging over their heads.
Jared cleared his throat, licked his lips. “I’ve been trying to find a way of telling you … something. I …” Jared hesitated. He could feel a lump rising up from his chest, into his throat. Though it threatened to cut off his words he fought to speak past it.
“The day Jensen escaped, the day Sa … what happened, happened, I did something I knew I shouldn’t have done. I knew it was something you wouldn’t have wanted me to do, I knew that it would probably mean that we’d have to move on, leave the motel. But I didn’t think ….” Jared stopped again. Sam still didn’t move. Didn’t speak. “I made a phone call. I called my mom. I knew that there was a chance a trace had been put on her phone, but I did it anyway. I took a risk, but I didn’t think…. I didn’t think that what I was doing – what I did – was dangerous. I didn’t think it would get anybody killed.”
The silence stretched on and Jared almost retreated, left Sam in his silent solitude.
He almost managed to convince himself he’d not said a single word out loud, that he’d imagined the whole, painful monologue.
Sam’s voice, when it came, startled him. There was no inflection in the tone, no emotion in the words. “No. You didn’t think. The thing is Jared, I already know what you did.”
Sam rose to his feet and turned, looked at Jared for the first time with cold, dead eyes. The words were bitter, resentful, angry – but Jared grounded himself, took the verbal assault. “D’you think I didn’t know you made that call? D’you think I wouldn’t know, when you looked so fucking guilty, that you’d done something you shouldn’t have? If you do something Jared, if you do something you know you’re not supposed to do, you shouldn’t make it so fucking easy for someone to read you.”
“I….”
“No, Jared. Just shut the hell up. You feel guilty? I’m happy for you, really I am. You feel happier after that little confession? Well, congratulations. Now leave me the fuck alone.”
Sam didn’t say anymore. He returned to his seat on the rough hewn step and didn’t seem to notice when Jared stumbled, tripping over his own feet, as he hurried away.
Jeff had resurrected his childhood love of fishing as soon as he found the old rods and tackle in the cabin’s loft. He’d spent hours on various spots on this side of the lake and he still hadn’t caught anything, but as any recreational fisherman will tell you, the catch really isn’t the point.
You did it for the peace. For the chance to clear your head and reduce the stress, lower the blood pressure that threatened to produce a stroke.
And he was stressed. Pregnant Gestates and grieving psychopaths were a lot to be stressed over.
He frowned as a stone skipped across the surface of the water. “You’ll scare the fish!”
“What?”
Jeff placed his rod on the rest and walked round to where Jared was standing, another stone flying out of his hand as he got a little closer.
“I said you’re scaring the fish.”
Jared grimaced, “Sorry.”
The kid looked upset, pale as a ghost. And to think he’d thought the boy was finally getting some quality time with Jensen.
“Are you and Jensen alright?”
Jared’s eyes lit up briefly before he nodded. It wasn’t Jensen that had him tied up in knots then.
Jeff had barely spent any time in Jared’s company. Over the last few weeks Jared had virtually isolated himself. Oh, he did his fair share of the chores, made polite conversation if he was pressed, but no more than that.
Jeff had assumed Jensen was the root cause of all his worry.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
Jeff moved back to his position on the lake, Jared trailed after him.
“Jeff, can I talk to you?”
Jeff nodded, “As long as you do it quietly and stop throwing stones. I’m pretty sure there are still fish in this lake and I’d like to catch at least one of them before I turn ninety.”
Jared stared at his feet, not looking at Jeff as he spoke. “What do you think of Sam?”
“Sam? I don’t really know him. He’s obviously grieving right now, other than that, can’t really say.”
Jared turned away, looked back in the direction of the cabins, as if he expected someone to be approaching. Jeff wasn’t sure whether he was upset, in shock, or terrified. “What about Sarah?”
Jeff smiled, thinking back to the way she’d played him in the bar when she’d been trying to recruit him to her cause. “She was a woman of many talents. Hated the woman she pretended to be with a passion, but the real Sarah? Sam was a lucky man.”
Jared nodded, bottom lip disappearing.
“I don’t want to worry Jensen, not now. But…”
Jeff shook his head, reeling in his line. He probably needed to give the boy his full and undivided attention for this conversation. Whatever got him bent out of shape was obviously serious, at least as far as Jared was concerned.
He walked to a fallen tree and sat down, motioning Jared to do the same.
He listened as Jared told him about the reasons for his unease, and the way Sam had reacted during their recent conversation.
Jeff rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t know Sam, but he thought he understood the type of man he was. He thanked everything he believed in that he’d taken some classes on psychology and counseling during his time at Medical school.
“I might be wrong Jared, I don’t know him well enough to be sure, but men like Sam… I don’t think he’d say anything to you if he blamed you for what happened to Sarah. I’m not saying you’re his favorite person right now, and the man is certainly brooding about something, but I don’t believe it’s you. If it was … if it was he wouldn’t have said anything.”
“He’d have killed me.”
There was no humor in Jeff’s smile, he thought Jared’s conclusion was the right one. “If he holds anyone accountable at all they probably don’t even know it yet.”
Jared took some comfort in the fact that it sounded plausible. Sam, if he thought someone guilty of causing Sarah’s death, would exact bloody vengeance – and he’d happily serve it cold.
“Come on, fish with me. I’ve yet to catch anything but a cold.”
Jared smiled, grateful for both the man’s invitation and the distraction, “Are you sure there are fish in there?” He asked, as he cast the line on Jeff’s second rod.
“No clue, but I’m willing to spend some time out here to find out.”
Jared smiled, looking at his feet.
“What?”
“Trey giving you a hard time too?”
“Is it that obvious that I’m hiding?” Jeff laughed. “That boy is almost enough of a reason for me to see if I can get my old job back – and believe me when I say I’d have to be desperate to even consider that.”
“Weren’t you his doctor at the Center?”
Jeff nodded, giving the line a little more slack. “Sure I was, but it was different there.”
“Was he this … ummm….”
“Vocal?” Jeff smirked.
“Yeah, something like that.”
Jeff shook his head, careful to keep an eye on the tension on his line as he walked a little closer to the water’s edge. “Believe it or not, no, he wasn’t. I think, at first, he was shocked, scared. His parents are money and he’d managed to convince himself that he’d never be placed into confinement like ‘common’ people.”
“So he took it badly.”
“Understatement. The men he was confined with weren’t all that bad, but you know as well as I do that its rape, what happens in that place.”
“I know.” Jared went quiet then. Conversation over for a while until Jeff broke the silence.
“Jensen’s alright you know? He doesn’t hold it against you.”
“He’s talked to you about me?”
“A little. Not much. I’m not really the person he wanted to be talking to.” The float at the end of the line bobbed up and down.
“I was a jerk, ignoring him the way I did.”
“Yes, you were.” Jeff reeled in his line, frowned at the missing bait. The absence of fish. Something had to be in there.
“How much risk is there? With the pregnancy?”
“With the additional complications … some. But I…” Jared stared at him and Jeff realized, belatedly, that he’d said too much.
“What additional complications?”
Part 28
Title: Desperate Times (27/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Acts of terrorism, violence, murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters, so Jared and Jensen are safe)
Jack threw down the book he was reading, pushed himself back further onto his bed, and rolled his eyes, before banging the back of his head against the wall – repeatedly.
How could he be expected to concentrate with that racket going on?
Trey was shouting again, muted, admittedly, through the solid wood of the door, but still shouting. He heard Jensen’s voice too, but Jensen was quieter, placating. That man had to have the patience of a saint not to bite back, not to retaliate and stand up for himself. Jack really couldn’t understand why Jensen didn’t tell the sniveling little shit where to get off. Or to at least ‘Fuck off’, at any rate.
Jack had done his best to avoid the kid whenever possible – choosing to spend his time with Jared, and occasionally with Jeff, if the need for company outweighed his need for peace. Admittedly those instances were rare …
Something smashed ... from the sound of it there would be fewer glasses in the kitchen. Just because he was pregnant didn’t mean he should be able to get away with the daily tantrums.
But he did get away with them.
Who, after all, was going to put him right? Sam and Jared were distracted by their own dramas, and the boy wasn’t listening to Jeff. Jensen? Well, he supposed Jensen had tried, but Trey wasn’t prepared to listen to anything Jensen said either.
In the weeks he’d spent with him, Jack had actually grown to like Jensen – what was there not to like? But he’d managed to avoid getting attached emotionally. It hadn’t been wise when he had Tom waiting for him – and after, when Tom was no longer waiting, but his son was.
There was no point in developing feelings for Jensen when they’d inevitably be separated.
It had been wise to push Jared towards him. The right idea to have them bond. It was just a shame that, when Jensen was returned to the Center, or the Farm, or wherever the hell the authorities would take him, Jared would get hurt.
It was unavoidable, that hurt – which was a small regret – because he genuinely liked Jared. Jared was the closest thing to a friend he had around here. The closest thing to a friend he’d had anywhere in a long time, when he came to think about it more honestly.
He’d lost everything because of the breeding program.
He’d been labeled everything from whore to rapist. The veneer of his once respectable life had been ripped away and he’d been left with nothing but crap. His career had gone first. All his dedication and hard work disregarded as promotions passed him by, went to lesser men who wouldn’t leave for months at a time with virtually no notice. Personal relationships had suffered too as he’d had nothing in common with family, or friends, after long separations. They moved on without him.
People who knew what he was, not who he was, hurled abuse, insults, and he’d learned … no, not not to care, just not to show that he did.
He’d also learned that there was often great satisfaction to be had in retribution.
He’d lost track of the number of fights he’d been involved in because people couldn’t keep their narrow minded opinions to themselves. Lost track of the number of times he’d been picked up by police on assault charges when his temper got the better of him.
Tom had been a chance for him to move on. Start again. But he was lost to him now.
Like Jensen, he’d been a reluctant participant in the breeding program. Unlike Jensen he’d fought – well, he had at first.
He’d learned not to.
Behind closed eye lids he saw Tom’s face the first time he’d given himself willingly and felt his cock begin to harden.
He licked his lips, about to welcome the return of this rare visitor with a warm hand, when he was interrupted.
Something else was breaking out there ... plates rather than glasses.
Fuck!
Anger bloomed, a red flower obscuring his vision.
Did he regret betraying these people?
It was only a betrayal if you were in a position of trust, loyal. He’d never been loyal to them. Never made a single promise. Sure, it was a shame that people were getting hurt, but the benefits of his actions far outweighed any sense of guilt.
Sarah had probably been a very nice woman, she’d given that impression, but he didn’t pull the trigger on the gun that killed her. He refused to accept culpability. She’d chosen to walk a dangerous path – she had to know the possible destination.
A door slammed and the volume picked up. Jack had had e-fucking-nough. He clambored off the bed and walked to the door, opened it before he took a moment to calm himself.
He couldn’t go in there raring for a fight.
Couldn’t go in there when he was likely to throw a punch.
“You can’t tell me you’re going to be sharing a room with him?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”
Jack’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the door, forehead pressed against the wood as he concentrated on taking a series of calm, soothing breaths.
“But there’s a bed for you in my room.”
“It’s your room Trey. You’re a grown up, you can cope with sleeping in a room on your own.”
“But I don’t want …”
“I know you don’t – but you’re being unreasonable. I have the right to…”
“What? Let Jared fuck you?” There was venomous disgust in every syllable.
“If that’s what I want then, yes, I have that right.”
“You’re a priest.”
“No. No, I’m not.”
Fists clenched, Jack stepped through the door, intent on looking calm and non-confrontational. Trey would probably launch something from the kitchen in his direction, but he had to make sure he could hold back the rage that wanted to take control.
One step, two. Small, even paces. He wasn’t in a hurry.
“Are you letting him fuck you ‘cause you’re pregnant?”
He stopped.
Still.
Held his breath.
He couldn’t have heard what he thought he heard.
He leant back against the wall, where he couldn’t be seen, and listened. He needed confirmation.
There was a pause before Jensen spoke. His voice was deeper, quieter, more controlled. He was trying, and failing, to rein in the righteous anger that Trey provoked.
“That’s got nothing to do with this. Fuck it Trey, Jared might not even be the father.”
Either Trey didn’t take the hint, or he ignored it. He continued to shout, not caring if someone overheard. Not caring that the man he chose as an ally was being hurt by every word. “So if Jack, or Sam, wanted to fuck you you’d let them?”
The silence reached him then and Jack had to fight the temptation to see what was happening, to step out from his hiding place and cheer Jensen on.
In his mind’s eye he imagined Jensen hitting the spoiled egotistical brat, knocking him to the floor.
It was unrealistic, he knew it would never happen, but he enjoyed the image as it danced round inside his head.
He heard the front door open.
When Jensen spoke again he sounded defeated.
“Just …. Just grow up.”
He slipped back to his room and closed the door – his mind played back the words he’d just heard.
Jensen was pregnant!
Pregnant!
And there was just as much of a chance that the baby was Jack’s as anyone else’s.
He had to rethink his plans.
Jared had had enough, he had to tell Sam. He’d sat for what felt like ages trying to regain his composure after their last discussion and, in the end, he’d tried to find him. Tried to seek out the older man, but Sam had made himself scarce.
Hadn’t wanted to be found.
Jared had spent the rest of the evening in Jensen’s company and, though Jensen had asked him what was wrong, Jared hadn’t been able to tell him.
He wanted to enjoy every minute he spent in Jensen’s company. Wanted to savor every smile that crossed Jensen’s face. Every piece of personal information shared.
He’d held Jensen close all night, watched him breathe. Listened to the sighs and watched the fluttered eyelashes as Jared stroked his stomach.
There’d been no nightmares.
For a little while, at least, Jensen seemed to be doing okay and Jared didn’t want to be the cause of more worry.
Trey was enough of a concern for Jensen, anyway. That boy was unbelievable. He’d successfully kept himself distant from every other man in the camp – he only wanted Jensen and, as far as he was concerned, Jensen was his. They were the same – Gestates – and no other man, especially Inseminates, could be trusted.
They’d gone to collect Jensen’s things from Trey’s room when Trey had started screaming abuse. Jensen had advised Jared to leave as soon as Trey referred to him as a rapist … and he had.
Jensen had Trey to deal with, Jared had Sam.
Wherever the hell he was.
He wandered towards the lake and saw Jeff, rod in hand, bait box and spare lying on the ground.
Though he’d been tempted to approach the doctor he steered clear, walked in the opposite direction, further round the lake’s shoreline.
He needed to think through what he wanted to say, the walk let him do that. He didn’t want to make excuses, he just needed to state what had happened and hope that Sam didn’t hurt him too badly afterwards.
When he reached a familiar break in the trees he ventured away from the water and into the forest. He’d explored the area a little while he’d been staying at the cabin, he hadn’t had much else to do as he’d been keeping himself away from Jensen, and he knew a route that would get him back to the cabins in less than a half hour.
One of the unoccupied cabins came into view first and Jared could just about make out his quarry, sitting silently, on the back porch step.
Jared approached from the side, out of Sam’s line of sight, but he wasn’t silent. Sam had to know he was there. Had to hear the creak of the old wood as Jared stepped up onto the porch and approached Sam from behind.
Sam didn’t turn – didn’t acknowledge he existed – just sat and stared at… well, Jared couldn’t see what he was staring at. There was certainly nothing interesting in the tumble of leaves across the ground, or in the shadows beneath the trees.
It was possibly the peace that had brought Sam out here. You couldn’t hear Trey at all, and maybe Sam was reflecting on … his losses, and didn’t want to be disturbed. But Jared had to speak now. He had to say what he’d done and get it over with. If he wanted any kind of future with Jensen they couldn’t have Sam, and his vengeance, hanging over their heads.
Jared cleared his throat, licked his lips. “I’ve been trying to find a way of telling you … something. I …” Jared hesitated. He could feel a lump rising up from his chest, into his throat. Though it threatened to cut off his words he fought to speak past it.
“The day Jensen escaped, the day Sa … what happened, happened, I did something I knew I shouldn’t have done. I knew it was something you wouldn’t have wanted me to do, I knew that it would probably mean that we’d have to move on, leave the motel. But I didn’t think ….” Jared stopped again. Sam still didn’t move. Didn’t speak. “I made a phone call. I called my mom. I knew that there was a chance a trace had been put on her phone, but I did it anyway. I took a risk, but I didn’t think…. I didn’t think that what I was doing – what I did – was dangerous. I didn’t think it would get anybody killed.”
The silence stretched on and Jared almost retreated, left Sam in his silent solitude.
He almost managed to convince himself he’d not said a single word out loud, that he’d imagined the whole, painful monologue.
Sam’s voice, when it came, startled him. There was no inflection in the tone, no emotion in the words. “No. You didn’t think. The thing is Jared, I already know what you did.”
Sam rose to his feet and turned, looked at Jared for the first time with cold, dead eyes. The words were bitter, resentful, angry – but Jared grounded himself, took the verbal assault. “D’you think I didn’t know you made that call? D’you think I wouldn’t know, when you looked so fucking guilty, that you’d done something you shouldn’t have? If you do something Jared, if you do something you know you’re not supposed to do, you shouldn’t make it so fucking easy for someone to read you.”
“I….”
“No, Jared. Just shut the hell up. You feel guilty? I’m happy for you, really I am. You feel happier after that little confession? Well, congratulations. Now leave me the fuck alone.”
Sam didn’t say anymore. He returned to his seat on the rough hewn step and didn’t seem to notice when Jared stumbled, tripping over his own feet, as he hurried away.
Jeff had resurrected his childhood love of fishing as soon as he found the old rods and tackle in the cabin’s loft. He’d spent hours on various spots on this side of the lake and he still hadn’t caught anything, but as any recreational fisherman will tell you, the catch really isn’t the point.
You did it for the peace. For the chance to clear your head and reduce the stress, lower the blood pressure that threatened to produce a stroke.
And he was stressed. Pregnant Gestates and grieving psychopaths were a lot to be stressed over.
He frowned as a stone skipped across the surface of the water. “You’ll scare the fish!”
“What?”
Jeff placed his rod on the rest and walked round to where Jared was standing, another stone flying out of his hand as he got a little closer.
“I said you’re scaring the fish.”
Jared grimaced, “Sorry.”
The kid looked upset, pale as a ghost. And to think he’d thought the boy was finally getting some quality time with Jensen.
“Are you and Jensen alright?”
Jared’s eyes lit up briefly before he nodded. It wasn’t Jensen that had him tied up in knots then.
Jeff had barely spent any time in Jared’s company. Over the last few weeks Jared had virtually isolated himself. Oh, he did his fair share of the chores, made polite conversation if he was pressed, but no more than that.
Jeff had assumed Jensen was the root cause of all his worry.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
Jeff moved back to his position on the lake, Jared trailed after him.
“Jeff, can I talk to you?”
Jeff nodded, “As long as you do it quietly and stop throwing stones. I’m pretty sure there are still fish in this lake and I’d like to catch at least one of them before I turn ninety.”
Jared stared at his feet, not looking at Jeff as he spoke. “What do you think of Sam?”
“Sam? I don’t really know him. He’s obviously grieving right now, other than that, can’t really say.”
Jared turned away, looked back in the direction of the cabins, as if he expected someone to be approaching. Jeff wasn’t sure whether he was upset, in shock, or terrified. “What about Sarah?”
Jeff smiled, thinking back to the way she’d played him in the bar when she’d been trying to recruit him to her cause. “She was a woman of many talents. Hated the woman she pretended to be with a passion, but the real Sarah? Sam was a lucky man.”
Jared nodded, bottom lip disappearing.
“I don’t want to worry Jensen, not now. But…”
Jeff shook his head, reeling in his line. He probably needed to give the boy his full and undivided attention for this conversation. Whatever got him bent out of shape was obviously serious, at least as far as Jared was concerned.
He walked to a fallen tree and sat down, motioning Jared to do the same.
He listened as Jared told him about the reasons for his unease, and the way Sam had reacted during their recent conversation.
Jeff rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t know Sam, but he thought he understood the type of man he was. He thanked everything he believed in that he’d taken some classes on psychology and counseling during his time at Medical school.
“I might be wrong Jared, I don’t know him well enough to be sure, but men like Sam… I don’t think he’d say anything to you if he blamed you for what happened to Sarah. I’m not saying you’re his favorite person right now, and the man is certainly brooding about something, but I don’t believe it’s you. If it was … if it was he wouldn’t have said anything.”
“He’d have killed me.”
There was no humor in Jeff’s smile, he thought Jared’s conclusion was the right one. “If he holds anyone accountable at all they probably don’t even know it yet.”
Jared took some comfort in the fact that it sounded plausible. Sam, if he thought someone guilty of causing Sarah’s death, would exact bloody vengeance – and he’d happily serve it cold.
“Come on, fish with me. I’ve yet to catch anything but a cold.”
Jared smiled, grateful for both the man’s invitation and the distraction, “Are you sure there are fish in there?” He asked, as he cast the line on Jeff’s second rod.
“No clue, but I’m willing to spend some time out here to find out.”
Jared smiled, looking at his feet.
“What?”
“Trey giving you a hard time too?”
“Is it that obvious that I’m hiding?” Jeff laughed. “That boy is almost enough of a reason for me to see if I can get my old job back – and believe me when I say I’d have to be desperate to even consider that.”
“Weren’t you his doctor at the Center?”
Jeff nodded, giving the line a little more slack. “Sure I was, but it was different there.”
“Was he this … ummm….”
“Vocal?” Jeff smirked.
“Yeah, something like that.”
Jeff shook his head, careful to keep an eye on the tension on his line as he walked a little closer to the water’s edge. “Believe it or not, no, he wasn’t. I think, at first, he was shocked, scared. His parents are money and he’d managed to convince himself that he’d never be placed into confinement like ‘common’ people.”
“So he took it badly.”
“Understatement. The men he was confined with weren’t all that bad, but you know as well as I do that its rape, what happens in that place.”
“I know.” Jared went quiet then. Conversation over for a while until Jeff broke the silence.
“Jensen’s alright you know? He doesn’t hold it against you.”
“He’s talked to you about me?”
“A little. Not much. I’m not really the person he wanted to be talking to.” The float at the end of the line bobbed up and down.
“I was a jerk, ignoring him the way I did.”
“Yes, you were.” Jeff reeled in his line, frowned at the missing bait. The absence of fish. Something had to be in there.
“How much risk is there? With the pregnancy?”
“With the additional complications … some. But I…” Jared stared at him and Jeff realized, belatedly, that he’d said too much.
“What additional complications?”
Part 28
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:23 pm (UTC)That's it. I'm on the next plane to some damn where. You make me wait an extra day and now I have to angst over this although I have a feeling I know what this is I'm stressing the hell out.
Trey needs a good great big fucking wake up call. Matter of fact I think it's time Jared gives him one. This stress he's causing can't be good for Jensen and I think it's high time Jared gets in the brats face and tells him.
Sam knows whose to blame doesn't he and he's going to make damn sure he takes care of it. I had a feeling if he thought it was Jared the boy would already be in a shallow grave.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:39 pm (UTC)Jeff let slip about complications, Jared won't let that rest until he knows what the problems could be. I can see Jensen getting annoyed if Jared tries to mother him!!!
Looking forward to more.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:55 pm (UTC)And poor Jack. He's gone from being very popular to being hated ... oh well.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:53 pm (UTC)I'm feeling a bit less sympathetic toward Trey now that I know he's always an entitled brat. As Jeff says, it's still rape, but that doesn't mean that Trey gets what he wants just because he pitches a tantrum. If I were Sam I'd send his unhappy little ass off to another country, where his wealthy family can manage him, and good riddance.
And now Jared knows Jensen's pregnancy has complications.
Nothing's ever simple with you, is it? Good.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:04 pm (UTC)I am so glad that it seems that although Sam may be mad at Jared for what he did, he doesn't blame him for Sarah's death.
And poor Jensen, having to put up with Trey's harsh words. For having to defend his right to be with Jared if he wants to. But I do love that he has chosen to share Jared's room!
There are additional complications!? Am I drawing a blank on what they are? Is he refering to Jensen's showing too early or is there something else we don't know about yet? I can't wait to find out!!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:09 pm (UTC)I'm glad Jared finally "came clean." And it makes sense that Sam already knew. I hope he has the same intuition about Jack, but I fear Jack is a much more well-seasoned liar.
Nice, peaceful scene with the doctor. It reminds us that he's a good guy despite his background.
Loved it, as always. Can't wait for more (except, I will)!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:29 pm (UTC)Poor Jensen, having to suffer Trey's drama. I hope they'll find a solution for this boy quickly.
And what the hell is Sam thinking? I can't wait for the new chapter!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:58 pm (UTC)That happens to me too .. annoying isn't it?
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:41 pm (UTC)Thank you so much but please, PLEASE, don't stop again in such bad moments !!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:52 pm (UTC)Reminds me of my reaction to that movie a couple years ago... Crash (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375679/) (had to go look it up.) Except of course your fic is even better, due to the posting nature/schedule of the story. (I.e. waiting between chapters allows me to think about things, whereas if I had the whole story at once I'd just rush through for the drama!)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 12:46 am (UTC)Jack is making me uneasy. He's not going to try and claim Jensen to himself or something now, right? If he tries to tear Jared and Jensen apart, I'm all for Sam putting the guy in his place! Speaking of... I'm glad Sam doesn't (apparently) blame Jared for Sarah's death. Then again, the man is hard to figure out.
Trey, you drama queen! Jensen doesn't deserve that kind of treatment!
Please keep going! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 02:43 am (UTC)Twins. It has to be twins.
And would't it be an awesome and bizarre twist if the twins have two fathers. Superfecundation (http://multiples.about.com/od/glossary/g/superfecundatio.htm) omg.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 03:20 am (UTC)DUDE! Master of the cliffhanger strikes again! OMG, I'm dying here. Jack finding out Jensen's pregnant, that changes things (and, boy, did I ever misjudge Jack. I empathize with him, but I still think what he did was wrong). And now there are ADDITIONAL COMPLICATIONS with Jensen's pregnancy??? I have to know what happens next! ^___^
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 03:39 am (UTC)*waits*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 04:08 am (UTC)Maybe I'll write some Misha/Jensen to take the edge off. LOLZ.
I haz ice cream. It's intense chocolate. It makes me giggly. Here!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:03 pm (UTC)I miss you :'(
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 08:20 am (UTC)Also Jeff and Jared's conversation was for the win.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 09:55 pm (UTC)Still loving this so much!! xx
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-04 03:48 am (UTC)I love this story. I keep telling myself I'll wait til it's finished to read it.. yet here I am at every update!
You have me hooked. Keep up the great work!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-04 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-05 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 04:59 pm (UTC)I want to kill everyone ... bwahahahaha *hides black eyes*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 03:16 am (UTC)I have no POLITE words for you right now.
*stalks off to read next chapter*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 05:00 pm (UTC)Well, I mean, no polite words at all?
I'm gutted - seriously.. *g*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 09:01 am (UTC)I'm not sure about what's going on with Sam, I do really feel sorry for him, but that guy scares me.
*runs ot read next chapter*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-07 11:56 am (UTC)