hemrage | Desperate Times (50/50)

Chapter 49 here.

Title: Desperate Times (50/50)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG

A/N: Cast of this story available here.
Additional Warnings For This and other Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.) Oh, and I believe in happy endings!
A/N2: Okay, I’m done with this, but remember the sequel - Desperate Measures - is coming… whether you want it or not! *g*

Trey leant with his back against the window, a little of the sun’s heat bouncing onto his back through the gap in the drapes, and watched Jensen with his daughter.

He had no doubt he’d done the right thing.

Jensen had been asleep when Trey’d bundled her into the room, but he’d soon woken up, bleary eyed and confused by the intrusion. Once he’d realized exactly what, who, Trey had brought with him Jensen had begun struggling to sit up. Trey had placed the baby at the foot of the bed long enough to prop a wincing Jensen up on pillows, before handing her over.

No words were spoken at all for the first few minutes as Jensen stared at his daughter and she stared right back. When Jensen looked up at him there were tears in his eyes. “Thank you.”

Trey smiled, “Don’t sweat it. I’ve no doubt I’ll get lynched for this but, hey, they were going to bring her to see you later anyway.”

Jensen lifted her closer and kissed her cheek.

Trey felt his own tears threatening to fall and wiped his eyes. “So, she got a name? We can’t keep calling them ‘baby girl’ and ‘baby boy’, they’ll get sick of it within a year or two.”

Jensen smiled at the sarcasm before frowning. He busied himself with stroking her face, counting her fingers. “I never thought… Whenever I thought of names I felt like I was tempting fate, or that it wasn’t up to me to choose.”

“Because you might not be around to use them?”

Jensen nodded, and Trey bit his lip. He knew where Jensen was coming from. “I tried not to too. Think of names, I mean. Same reasons, but in my weaker moments I called the little bastard Lee.”

Jensen laughed and, though that there wasn’t anything to laugh at, Trey joined in.

“It’s not right to think of him as a bastard.” Jensen scolded, although there was no heat in his words.

Trey smirked, “Why not, he was one. A gorgeous little bastard, I have no doubt, but I’ve no idea who his daddy was. And you, my friend, have got the same problem.”

Jensen’s smile wavered, only a little. “Naming them now should be a joint decision.”

Trey pushed away from the wall and moved to the bed, sitting down he leant close enough to see the little girl’s face. “Come on, you must’ve given it some thought. You must’ve had your own weak moments.”

Jensen blushed.

Trey crowed in victory. “I knew it. The way I figure it, you’re the one that went through the nightmare of conception, pregnancy and birth. You’re the one who has the greater say and you should get to give the little monsters names.”

“Would you not call my children monsters?”

“Well, what should I call them then?” Trey teased.

He was sure that Jensen was about to say something, divulge some embarrassing secret or confession, when the door opened and a nervous Jared appeared.

Trey noticed his features harden as his jaw tensed. Jared’s eyes flicked from Trey to Jensen and then back again before he stepped further into the room.

Jensen was so focused on the baby Trey didn’t think he’d noticed the way Jared’s face reflected the fury he undoubtedly felt.

“Oh, here you are. We’ve been looking for you.”

Jensen looked up, puzzled no doubt by Jared’s behavior and the fact that people were actively looking for the camp’s least favorite resident, but Trey didn’t comment. He placed a hand on Jensen’s shoulder before standing up, “No idea why, I wasn’t lost. But,” he patted Jared on the chest as he walked past him, “just in case people are still looking, I’d better go call off the search.” Trey grinned as soon as he stood at the open doorway, taking a perverse amount of pleasure from riling the big man.

“See you later, Jensen. Maybe we can continue this conversation later.”

He left the room before he heard Jensen’s reply and wasn’t surprised to see the rest of his fan club approach as he stepped out of the cabin and onto the porch.

He had no problem with brazening it out, no matter what they said. The only one he’d miss when they left here was Jensen, so why the hell did they think he cared what anyone else thought?

Jeff checked the little boy over and, satisfied, decided the time had come to reunite him with his sister and introduce him to his father. Between Jared and Sam everything that was needed for both children had already been taken across. And now the cabin that had become his home, the clinic where he worked, was nothing but a shell, empty of everything that gave it purpose.

Shrouding the boy in blankets so that not even his face could be abused by the frigid breeze, he walked carefully along the worn and icy path to the only cabin still occupied.

Donna and Alan retained the only bedroom upstairs. Because he was trusted not to commit homicide, he and Trey were bunking together in one room while Sam and Joseph shared the room which was now an empty stockroom.

It was cramped, but they were managing it, not that it would be for very long. Besides, no-one, perhaps with the exception of Trey, was willing to leave until Jensen and the kids were ready to travel.

He opened the cabin door, careful to close it securely behind him before turning into the room. Alan was stoking the fire, Donna was in the kitchen and Joseph was sat at the table coffee in hand. Even though they all looked his way to see who’d entered no-one stopped him. No-one wanted to postpone the introduction that had already been left too long.

When he entered Jensen’s cramped room his patient already had company. Jared was sitting on the bed while Jensen bottle fed his daughter.

“I thought you might want to meet this little guy?”

Jensen’s smile couldn’t have been wider as he moved his daughter to one side, letting the bed take more of her weight as he tried to support her with one arm, while he took his son in the other.

“We need to talk Jensen, when you’ve got a moment.”

Jared, looked up, taking the hint, “I’ll go and see if your mom wants any help in the kitchen.”

At Jensen’s raised eyebrow Jared laughed, “Well, there’s a chance, as remote as it may be.”

When Jensen’s smile didn’t waver Jared smiled wider. “Okay, okay. I’m just … I’m just going to leave you two alone for a while. Give us a shout if you want something.”

Once Jared was gone Jeff sat on the side of the bed, careful not to disturb the small occupants, but as there was nowhere else to sit in the cramped room he didn’t have a lot of options.

He let Jensen bask in the company of his children for a while, more than happy to wait before he said what needed to be said.

Jensen, in the end, spoke first. “Okay, what is it?”

“A couple of things, actually, now you’re wide awake and can think straight.” Jeff shifted a little. “You know things didn’t go according to plan during delivery.”

Jensen looked at each of his children. “As far as I can see, things went fine.”

“You know what I mean. I… you weren’t meant to feel all that.” Jeff saw Jensen frown even as the younger man refused to meet his eyes.

“I know, but I figure it’s not your fault. I’m not about to press a lawsuit or anything.”

Jeff wasn’t in the mood for Jensen’s attempts at humor, his attempts to avoid the conversation that was now overdue. “This is important.”

There was anger, a lot of anger, when Jensen spoke next. “What is? The fact that I’m even more of a freak than you thought I was?”

Jeff frowned, “Who…?”

Jensen sighed, the tension leaving his body as he concentrated on both babies, even though tiny eyes were closed. “Does it matter who said what? You opened me up, got a surprise, but you still managed to save us. All of us. I don’t need to know about the rest.”

Jeff grew more and more frustrated. Jensen couldn’t be left ignorant of what had happened. Couldn’t be left not knowing what Jeff knew, not when there was every chance they would go their own ways when they left here. “You do.”

“Why? I don’t see why.”

Jeff could see the boy was afraid, didn’t want to know anymore than he already did, but … hell, Jeff wasn’t prepared to stop pushing.

“Let me put those two down as they’re asleep. I need to check your stitches.”

Reluctantly Jensen handed first his daughter over, and then his son.

Jeff busied himself with adjusting the pillows, helping Jensen to lie lower on the bed, and then he unbuttoned the pajama shirt Jensen was wearing, pushing the waistband of the pants low enough that pubic hair would’ve been visible back in the days when Jensen had some.

Jeff looked at the puckered flesh, held together by conspicuous, ugly thread. He didn’t miss Jensen’s sharp intake of breath as he began to palpate the stomach which was still swollen. “Is the pain manageable?”

“Just about.”

“Glad to hear it, but don’t be a martyr. If it gets bad ask for something.”

Jeff continued with his examination, speaking quietly in deference to the sleeping children.

“I can’t believe you’re not interested in what makes you special. In what makes you unique.”

“Please, Jeff. Not now, okay? For now, just let me enjoy being a father. Later, in a couple of weeks, you can lay it all on me then, but please, not now.”

Jeff almost relented. Almost. “I didn’t remove both pouches, just the one.” Jensen turned away, refused to reply, but Jeff was sure he was listening. “Your daughter’s was mature, should have come away easily, but it looks like, with you, they become a permanent feature. Taps into your nervous system as well as your vascular one. It’s built to be stronger, built to last. It wouldn’t have ruptured if we’d left her longer, but I don’t know how well your blood vessels would’ve taken the strain. There’s still so much I don’t know.”

He paused, Jensen swallowed. If he was about to ask a question he didn’t voice it. “I took your son’s pouch away. In the end, the way they were positioned, I had to take him first and it wasn’t until then, until I tried to take him out that I realized there was a problem. That’s when you … when you seemed to be feeling everything I did.”

He pulled up the waistband on Jensen’s trousers, signaling the end of that part of the exam. “I don’t know how else you’re different inside. I didn’t exactly have time to look around and I’d need a proper hospital, proper equipment, to investigate further, but it’ll have to be done Jensen. It’ll have to be done.”

He began buttoning up Jensen’s shirt, and stopped when he got to a swollen nipple. “You been lactating?”

Jensen’s horrified face swung round to glare at him.

Jeff laughed, couldn’t help it even though Jensen was anything but amused. “It’s not unheard of, you know? About five percent of Gestates do actually lactate.”

“Well I’m not one of them.” Jensen snapped.

“Fair enough.”

The silence was tense, but brief. “You said there was more than one thing you wanted to talk to me about, what’s the other?”

“Oh.” Jeff stood up and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I thought you might want to see this.”

He handed the paper to Jensen. “What is it?”

“Results of the paternity test.”

Jensen felt ridiculous, felt like he should be up on his feet sharing this news, not lying flat on his back.

He’d asked to speak to Sam first, wanted to see him on his own and he didn’t know what kind of signal that sent to Jared. Didn’t know how Jared felt seeing Jeff ask Sam to come into him while he sat outside waiting with everyone else. Didn’t know how Jared had felt as the minutes ticked by and Sam didn’t emerge.

He’d asked Sam not to say anything until Jensen had had a chance to speak to Jared, Sam had agreed before reluctantly leaving the room and letting Jared in.

He’d held his breath when he’d read the results and it still hadn’t sunk in completely, not all of. He’d had to read it half a dozen times before Jeff had asked him whether he was alright.

Alright?

Yeah, right.

A piece of paper that could change things so irrevocably. He’d not been able to say anything to Sam, he’d just handed the paper over and let him read it for himself. He wanted to speak to Jared though, tell Jared personally.

Maybe he should’ve asked for Jared first? Maybe asking for Sam first hurt, but Jensen knew that once he’d said his piece he wanted Jared to stay with him, just the two of them, uninterrupted, until he knew exactly how Jared felt about it. Until he knew they were alright and Jared was going to cope with the hand fate had dealt.

Jared looked pale. He had to know what it was Jensen had brought him in here to tell him. Had to know the significance of this meeting when he’d asked his mom and dad to take the babies out.

Jensen didn’t want to be interrupted, not even by them.

“Come and lie with me Jay, please.”

Jared didn’t need to be asked twice. He kicked off his shoes and moved up onto the bed, laid his head on Jensen’s pillow as Jensen clasped his hand.

They both stared at the ceiling.

“It’s alright Jen. Whatever you have to say, this is alright.”

Jensen took a deep breath, squeezed Jared’s hand. He didn’t know how to begin, but when his mouth opened words came out anyway. “I’ve called her Sarah, my daughter. I’ve named her Sarah after the woman who lost her life trying to save us.”

“It’s a good name.” Jensen kept his gaze to the ceiling, couldn’t look at Jared as he felt lips kiss his cheek. “It’s alright, baby. She’s Sam’s isn’t she?”

Jensen nodded. The lump in his throat stole the words before he could say them.

“Then she’s a lucky little girl. She’s managed to get herself three daddies.”

Jensen didn’t notice he was crying – again – until he felt Jared wipe the tear away.

Jensen sniffed, blaming hormones, had to be hormones. “I was thinking, for him, what do you think about James? Jamie?”

Jared chuckled, softly, his breath warm against Jensen’s neck, cheek. “Determined to stick with the Js in your family then?”

Jensen smiled, “I figured… I don’t know. Isn’t your brother another J?”

“Jeff? Yeah, sure, but…”

“Then it’s more than one family’s tradition.”

Jensen turned so that he could see the questioning frown on Jared’s face. “He’s yours Jared. You’re his daddy.”

In the end it was another five days before the camp was deserted. Chris showed up with a vehicle large enough to take six adult passengers and the rest of the too-useful pieces to leave behind.

Sam drove a second vehicle, built more for comfort than practicalities. Jared rode shotgun while Jensen sat sandwiched between two baby carriers, Sam’s daughter behind Jared while Jared’s son was behind Sam.

Between the three of them they’d made sure they were fed and changed and for now, at least, they were sleeping. It wasn’t a big surprise, not to Jared at any rate, that Jamie’s lungs were more powerful than his sister’s. Which may have been because he exercised them more frequently, screaming at the slightest thing.

Sarah was more stoic. She seemed to look and study and hardly made a sound, allowing her brother to steal all the attention.

So young and their personalities were already shining through.

Jensen swallowed back a yawn. He’d only really been on his feet for two days. Had only been able to stand for longer than ten minutes at a time since this morning. But, with two newborns, restful sleep was already becoming something of a stranger.

Sarah, more than Jamie, was the cause of that. Jensen knew that he’d be made fully aware when Jamie wanted something, but with Sarah? Jensen woke worried that the silent child was hungry or uncomfortable or scared or lonely…

Jared and Sam seemed to have come to an understanding. They both took interest in each other’s children as well as their own, and Jensen was grateful. He wasn’t sure how they were going to work it out in the weeks, months, years to come, but they were going to try.

Sam gave him a smile before he brought the engine to life, the children not even stirring. He followed the track in the snow Chris’ vehicle had made and Jensen took one last look at what had been his home for the last few months.

The place where his children had been born, and where a little boy called Lee would forever sleep.

He hated the place but he was still going to miss it.

And then it disappeared amongst the trees.

He wasn’t sure what kind of future they were heading towards, but it had to be better than the past they’d left behind.

If Jamie hadn’t chosen that moment to stir, Jensen may have seen him, the man who stood amongst the trees. He’d been hiding, biding his time, and he didn’t move out into the open until he could no longer hear the engines above the silence.

Jack looked at the device in his scarred hand. Irritated by the ache in his hip, his knee.

He’d not had a chance this time, but he’d be able to find them again. It might take a while, but he was determined.

No one was going to take his family away from him.

THE END
For now.
Well, until I start posting the sequel …

Until then ... A Little Less Desperate
A one shot in this verse.