Desperate Times - 32
Oct. 22nd, 2008 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hemrageChapter 31 here.
Title: Desperate Times (32/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.)
Jared stood silently outside his bedroom door, too aware that he had an audience. An audience he was reluctant to face.
He swallowed, took a breath and forced himself to turn - just in time to see Jack make a strategic exit before introductions could be made.
Lucky bastard!
Jared knew the smile he pasted on his face was flimsy, insubstantial, but he had to at least make it appear as if he was making an effort to be friendly. Had to make it look like his stomach hadn’t been threatening to reintroduce him to his breakfast since the moment he’d first discovered the identities of the new arrivals.
Jensen’s father seemed to be the least intimidating of the men in the room, so Jared worked on convincing himself that there was nothing to worry about as the man approached.
If Alan Ackles had ever been a strong and robust man he’d obviously been aged by the events of the last year. His once dark hair was liberally colored with gray and white, while deep lines round his eyes made him look worn and tired. His build was slighter than that of his two older sons – but, though he lacked their muscular bulk, he was only slightly shorter.
Jared remembered his mama saying they grew them tall in Texas … how true that seemed to be.
Jared was tempted to move to the kitchen, distract himself with making coffee… maybe even an early lunch. Anything to get out of their direct line of sight.
He knew he looked guilty – it was obvious from the way the men cast glances in his direction. The way none, but Alan, would meet his eyes with anything other than curiosity and hostility.
“How many bedrooms are there?” It took a moment for Jared to realize he was being addressed, a moment longer before he found his voice.
“Four.”
Alan didn’t get a chance to continue before Joseph hijacked the conversation. His voice clipped, his choice of words precise. “You live here too?”
Jared’s stomach dropped, he heard, even if none was intended, accusation in the words.
It wasn’t as if he didn’t want them to know he was sharing a bed with Jensen, because, unless he could force himself to stay away, and he had no intention of even trying to do that, they’d most definitely notice. He just didn’t want them to know now. Not when they’d just arrived and emotions were running high, when they would see Jensen as nothing other than an unwilling, vulnerable victim and Jared as someone who was taking advantage.
Jared nodded, swallowing the lump that threatened to choke him. “Yes. There are three of us in this cabin.”
“There’s a spare room then?” Jared could see where Joseph was headed, what he was about to say, but Alan put his hand on his son’s arm, turned to him and spoke with a tone which showed there was no room for discussion. He was definitely a man used to being listened to by his kids, and Jared reconsidered his initial impression – that Alan Ackles was the least threatening of the Ackles men. “Your mom and I will take it. She won’t be away from Jensen, not if he’s sick.”
Jared could see the play of tendons in Joseph’s neck, the pull of muscles in his jaw as he forced himself not to argue.
Jared turned away, looked briefly between the three bedroom doors on the ground floor.
It had been about two weeks since he’d discovered Sam had retreated to the one in the loft. That had been about a week after Jensen had moved back in. The man had claimed the noise they made kept him awake most of the night. He’d laughed and Jensen had blushed, but neither Jared nor Jensen had given it a second thought since then.
It was that room which was available now. The one that shared a wall with the headboard of Jared’s bed. The bed Jensen was currently curled up in.
Shit!
The other brother, Joshua, spoke then. There was a little humor in the tone, the voice a lot like Jensen’s when he was trying to appease Trey. Joshua had obviously seen the tension and was doing something to calm his brother down.
“I guess that means you and me are over at the other cabin.” Joshua turned to Jared. “We can share if there’s not enough room, be just like old times.”
Joseph glared at Jared and Jared, even though he was taller than the older man, felt cowed. “I don’t see why we can’t stay here. Jared wouldn’t mind moving out. Would you?”
When Joshua met Jared’s eyes Jared was convinced he knew. Maybe not that he was sleeping with his little brother, but at least that there was something it was best Joseph not find out. “Come on Joe, you’ve got to be kidding me. Jen will go crazy with mom on his case, he doesn’t need you too. The other cabin should be fine.” Joshua’s eyes never strayed from his, “So, Jared. Is there room over there?”
Jared spoke, conscious of the suspicion and resentment radiating from Jensen’s oldest brother. “There should be two spare rooms so you won’t have to share, unless you really want to.”
Joshua nodded, pushing Joseph gently to one side as he stepped closer to Jared, put his arm round Jared’s shoulder. “So, who’s over there?”
“Just, Jack and Trey. Trey’s a… umm. Jen’s been watching out for him.” Jared knew he sounded evasive and more than a little apologetic when he spoke, but didn’t elaborate. They could see for themselves what kind of housemates they’d been left with.
He suddenly doubted the wisdom of housing these two men with all that vitriolic hate and whining.
Jensen forced himself to sit up as his mother propped pillows against the headboard. He was too conscious of the fact that he was wearing nothing beneath the comforter but shorts. He was too aware that his altered appearance would be obvious if he allowed the comforter to reveal his body.
He pulled it up, higher. Kept his arms concealed beneath it while holding it round his chest like a shield.
His eyes closed as his mother rested her hand across his forehead, the chill from her fingers soothed his aching head. Then they moved through his hair, and he was struck with the thought that she wasn’t real.
He was dreaming.
She wasn’t really there.
He opened his eyes to reassure himself that she wasn’t the product of some fever induced hallucination.
Her smile was soft, loving. But she’d aged, she looked tired. He wouldn’t have dreamed her so beaten down by life. She’d have been as she was before. Lively, cheerful.
“You need a hair cut.”
He flushed. Tried not to think about the way Jared’s hands would twine through his hair when they made love. How the playful tugs and gentle fingers would send tendrils of lust south.
He pushed the not so idle thought away and returned his mother’s smile, hoping that she’d attribute the reddening of his face to the fever. There was just no way he should be able to entertain the idea of sex in his mother’s presence. “Been waiting for you to turn up and do it.”
Donna’s smile faltered as she caressed his face. He knew she could feel the lack of stubble, the skin too smooth for a full grown man. “Thank God I got you back. I prayed you know, baby. I never stopped.”
Jensen didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t prayer that saved him.
She leaned forward, let her lips brush against his brow, before she pulled back. “Let me see.”
For the briefest moment he wasn’t sure what she meant, but once he did he felt a renewed desire to hide.
She knew.
Her eyes never left his, warm but unwavering. Jensen hated that he didn’t need to confirm what she was asking for. Someone had told her and embarrassment and shame had another reason to be there, taunting, teasing.
“Mom…” He sniffed, wanted the burn round his eyes to be caused by the sickness.
“Don’t baby. Let me see.”
He knew that tone. Knew she wouldn’t be swayed. Jensen pushed the comforter down, let it pool round his waist.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at his mom while she studied him. While she touched his hairless chest, while her hand settled on the swell of his stomach.
“How far along are you?”
He couldn’t meet her eyes, just stared at her hand as it rested. “About three months – maybe a little longer.”
“You’re bigger than I was.” She pulled the comforter back up. Whether to save his embarrassment or to keep him warm, he didn’t know. He bit his lip, waited for her to say something more, but she gave him the out he craved. “We’ll talk more later, okay? There are a few people outside chomping at the bit to come in and see you. You okay if I let them in?”
It should have occurred to him that she wouldn’t be on her own. That she wouldn’t be without his dad, that, maybe, his brothers were with her too.
Jensen nodded. Overwhelmed by the idea that he was about to see the faces he’d always cherished. The faces he thought he’d never see again.
He wasn’t ready for it. Was scared that they’d be disappointed by what they saw. How could they not be?
Part of him wanted to tell his mom that he needed more time. That he was sick. That it wouldn’t be fair to inflict that on them. But he knew there was nothing that would keep them outside. Not his dad, not his brothers.
Jensen watched his mother rise, and was surprised when she stopped at the dresser by the door. Her back stiffened and she let out a little gasp as she picked something up, studied it. If his mind had been working faster he would have asked her what was wrong but, before he could, she opened the door and let the outside world in.
He’d been waiting for her to do it but, when his mother opened the door, Joseph became reluctant to move.
It was ridiculous.
He’d been desperate to get in there, but now, now that he could see Jensen, he was scared.
He watched his dad and Joshua walk in, pass his mom whose face looked pinched and uncomfortable. Had Jensen said something she wasn’t happy with? Had he done something? Was he alright?
He heard voices of greeting and Jensen coughing, but still didn’t move. He managed to catch her eye and her expression softened a little. He could do this. He could see his little brother. Check that he was okay.
When he stepped into the room, his mom stepped out, handed something to that Jared guy, who paled even more than he thought was possible.
That could wait.
His mom closed the door, let them have their time together, and he leant against it.
He was reminded of the last time he’d seen Jensen laid up in bed. This wasn’t a hospital, it had none of that impersonal sterility, but Jen was still sick. Still suffering.
He’d not been quick enough to act. Hadn’t been able to save his brother from the Center, or what happened there.
His dad was laughing, sweeping his hand through Jenny’s hair as Jensen started coughing again. His dad moved to pat him on the back while Josh poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the table next to the bed.
Jensen caught his eye then, looked at him, once the coughing had stopped.
Smiled.
It was the same smile he gave him when he was little. When Mrs Cuthbertson’s dog had chased him home from school, when Teddy Wanniker had decided he could pick on the little kid with the limp. It was the one that meant ‘You saved me. You’re my hero and I love you.’
One moment Joseph was stood at the door, the next he was sat on the bed, Jensen held tightly in his arms. He was too thin, too small, but it was alright because Joseph had no intention of letting go.
He didn’t notice he was crying until his dad handed him a tissue.
Jared blanched as he stared at the object Jensen’s mother had dropped into his hand.
Lube!
Fucking lube.
Where the hell had he left that? It wasn’t as if he and Jen had done anything in the last couple of days but…
“Are you still sleeping with my son?” Her tone was cold and Jared could see the anger in her eyes, in the pinch of her lips.
“Mrs Ackles, I ….”
“Are you? I know you have to be one of them. One of the men from that place. But are you still sleeping with him now?” She was furious, but she kept the volume down so that no-one in the other room could hear.
Jared knew he could lie, knew he could deny it, but he didn’t want to. “I love him.”
Just because he expected the slap didn’t make it hurt any less.
Part 33
A/N: So real life kicked my ass on the weekend but I may just be back into the swing of things. So, that means there should be an update on Sunday. (Barring explosions).
Title: Desperate Times (32/?)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMCs, AU, Non-con, Dub-con, MPREG
Additional Warnings For This and Upcoming Chapters for those that want them – Reading these may, in my opinion, spoil your enjoyment of the story: (Highlight to read) Extreme medical practices, acts of terrorism, violence - murder and CHARACTER DEATH (I only kill original characters.)
Jared stood silently outside his bedroom door, too aware that he had an audience. An audience he was reluctant to face.
He swallowed, took a breath and forced himself to turn - just in time to see Jack make a strategic exit before introductions could be made.
Lucky bastard!
Jared knew the smile he pasted on his face was flimsy, insubstantial, but he had to at least make it appear as if he was making an effort to be friendly. Had to make it look like his stomach hadn’t been threatening to reintroduce him to his breakfast since the moment he’d first discovered the identities of the new arrivals.
Jensen’s father seemed to be the least intimidating of the men in the room, so Jared worked on convincing himself that there was nothing to worry about as the man approached.
If Alan Ackles had ever been a strong and robust man he’d obviously been aged by the events of the last year. His once dark hair was liberally colored with gray and white, while deep lines round his eyes made him look worn and tired. His build was slighter than that of his two older sons – but, though he lacked their muscular bulk, he was only slightly shorter.
Jared remembered his mama saying they grew them tall in Texas … how true that seemed to be.
Jared was tempted to move to the kitchen, distract himself with making coffee… maybe even an early lunch. Anything to get out of their direct line of sight.
He knew he looked guilty – it was obvious from the way the men cast glances in his direction. The way none, but Alan, would meet his eyes with anything other than curiosity and hostility.
“How many bedrooms are there?” It took a moment for Jared to realize he was being addressed, a moment longer before he found his voice.
“Four.”
Alan didn’t get a chance to continue before Joseph hijacked the conversation. His voice clipped, his choice of words precise. “You live here too?”
Jared’s stomach dropped, he heard, even if none was intended, accusation in the words.
It wasn’t as if he didn’t want them to know he was sharing a bed with Jensen, because, unless he could force himself to stay away, and he had no intention of even trying to do that, they’d most definitely notice. He just didn’t want them to know now. Not when they’d just arrived and emotions were running high, when they would see Jensen as nothing other than an unwilling, vulnerable victim and Jared as someone who was taking advantage.
Jared nodded, swallowing the lump that threatened to choke him. “Yes. There are three of us in this cabin.”
“There’s a spare room then?” Jared could see where Joseph was headed, what he was about to say, but Alan put his hand on his son’s arm, turned to him and spoke with a tone which showed there was no room for discussion. He was definitely a man used to being listened to by his kids, and Jared reconsidered his initial impression – that Alan Ackles was the least threatening of the Ackles men. “Your mom and I will take it. She won’t be away from Jensen, not if he’s sick.”
Jared could see the play of tendons in Joseph’s neck, the pull of muscles in his jaw as he forced himself not to argue.
Jared turned away, looked briefly between the three bedroom doors on the ground floor.
It had been about two weeks since he’d discovered Sam had retreated to the one in the loft. That had been about a week after Jensen had moved back in. The man had claimed the noise they made kept him awake most of the night. He’d laughed and Jensen had blushed, but neither Jared nor Jensen had given it a second thought since then.
It was that room which was available now. The one that shared a wall with the headboard of Jared’s bed. The bed Jensen was currently curled up in.
Shit!
The other brother, Joshua, spoke then. There was a little humor in the tone, the voice a lot like Jensen’s when he was trying to appease Trey. Joshua had obviously seen the tension and was doing something to calm his brother down.
“I guess that means you and me are over at the other cabin.” Joshua turned to Jared. “We can share if there’s not enough room, be just like old times.”
Joseph glared at Jared and Jared, even though he was taller than the older man, felt cowed. “I don’t see why we can’t stay here. Jared wouldn’t mind moving out. Would you?”
When Joshua met Jared’s eyes Jared was convinced he knew. Maybe not that he was sleeping with his little brother, but at least that there was something it was best Joseph not find out. “Come on Joe, you’ve got to be kidding me. Jen will go crazy with mom on his case, he doesn’t need you too. The other cabin should be fine.” Joshua’s eyes never strayed from his, “So, Jared. Is there room over there?”
Jared spoke, conscious of the suspicion and resentment radiating from Jensen’s oldest brother. “There should be two spare rooms so you won’t have to share, unless you really want to.”
Joshua nodded, pushing Joseph gently to one side as he stepped closer to Jared, put his arm round Jared’s shoulder. “So, who’s over there?”
“Just, Jack and Trey. Trey’s a… umm. Jen’s been watching out for him.” Jared knew he sounded evasive and more than a little apologetic when he spoke, but didn’t elaborate. They could see for themselves what kind of housemates they’d been left with.
He suddenly doubted the wisdom of housing these two men with all that vitriolic hate and whining.
Jensen forced himself to sit up as his mother propped pillows against the headboard. He was too conscious of the fact that he was wearing nothing beneath the comforter but shorts. He was too aware that his altered appearance would be obvious if he allowed the comforter to reveal his body.
He pulled it up, higher. Kept his arms concealed beneath it while holding it round his chest like a shield.
His eyes closed as his mother rested her hand across his forehead, the chill from her fingers soothed his aching head. Then they moved through his hair, and he was struck with the thought that she wasn’t real.
He was dreaming.
She wasn’t really there.
He opened his eyes to reassure himself that she wasn’t the product of some fever induced hallucination.
Her smile was soft, loving. But she’d aged, she looked tired. He wouldn’t have dreamed her so beaten down by life. She’d have been as she was before. Lively, cheerful.
“You need a hair cut.”
He flushed. Tried not to think about the way Jared’s hands would twine through his hair when they made love. How the playful tugs and gentle fingers would send tendrils of lust south.
He pushed the not so idle thought away and returned his mother’s smile, hoping that she’d attribute the reddening of his face to the fever. There was just no way he should be able to entertain the idea of sex in his mother’s presence. “Been waiting for you to turn up and do it.”
Donna’s smile faltered as she caressed his face. He knew she could feel the lack of stubble, the skin too smooth for a full grown man. “Thank God I got you back. I prayed you know, baby. I never stopped.”
Jensen didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t prayer that saved him.
She leaned forward, let her lips brush against his brow, before she pulled back. “Let me see.”
For the briefest moment he wasn’t sure what she meant, but once he did he felt a renewed desire to hide.
She knew.
Her eyes never left his, warm but unwavering. Jensen hated that he didn’t need to confirm what she was asking for. Someone had told her and embarrassment and shame had another reason to be there, taunting, teasing.
“Mom…” He sniffed, wanted the burn round his eyes to be caused by the sickness.
“Don’t baby. Let me see.”
He knew that tone. Knew she wouldn’t be swayed. Jensen pushed the comforter down, let it pool round his waist.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at his mom while she studied him. While she touched his hairless chest, while her hand settled on the swell of his stomach.
“How far along are you?”
He couldn’t meet her eyes, just stared at her hand as it rested. “About three months – maybe a little longer.”
“You’re bigger than I was.” She pulled the comforter back up. Whether to save his embarrassment or to keep him warm, he didn’t know. He bit his lip, waited for her to say something more, but she gave him the out he craved. “We’ll talk more later, okay? There are a few people outside chomping at the bit to come in and see you. You okay if I let them in?”
It should have occurred to him that she wouldn’t be on her own. That she wouldn’t be without his dad, that, maybe, his brothers were with her too.
Jensen nodded. Overwhelmed by the idea that he was about to see the faces he’d always cherished. The faces he thought he’d never see again.
He wasn’t ready for it. Was scared that they’d be disappointed by what they saw. How could they not be?
Part of him wanted to tell his mom that he needed more time. That he was sick. That it wouldn’t be fair to inflict that on them. But he knew there was nothing that would keep them outside. Not his dad, not his brothers.
Jensen watched his mother rise, and was surprised when she stopped at the dresser by the door. Her back stiffened and she let out a little gasp as she picked something up, studied it. If his mind had been working faster he would have asked her what was wrong but, before he could, she opened the door and let the outside world in.
He’d been waiting for her to do it but, when his mother opened the door, Joseph became reluctant to move.
It was ridiculous.
He’d been desperate to get in there, but now, now that he could see Jensen, he was scared.
He watched his dad and Joshua walk in, pass his mom whose face looked pinched and uncomfortable. Had Jensen said something she wasn’t happy with? Had he done something? Was he alright?
He heard voices of greeting and Jensen coughing, but still didn’t move. He managed to catch her eye and her expression softened a little. He could do this. He could see his little brother. Check that he was okay.
When he stepped into the room, his mom stepped out, handed something to that Jared guy, who paled even more than he thought was possible.
That could wait.
His mom closed the door, let them have their time together, and he leant against it.
He was reminded of the last time he’d seen Jensen laid up in bed. This wasn’t a hospital, it had none of that impersonal sterility, but Jen was still sick. Still suffering.
He’d not been quick enough to act. Hadn’t been able to save his brother from the Center, or what happened there.
His dad was laughing, sweeping his hand through Jenny’s hair as Jensen started coughing again. His dad moved to pat him on the back while Josh poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the table next to the bed.
Jensen caught his eye then, looked at him, once the coughing had stopped.
Smiled.
It was the same smile he gave him when he was little. When Mrs Cuthbertson’s dog had chased him home from school, when Teddy Wanniker had decided he could pick on the little kid with the limp. It was the one that meant ‘You saved me. You’re my hero and I love you.’
One moment Joseph was stood at the door, the next he was sat on the bed, Jensen held tightly in his arms. He was too thin, too small, but it was alright because Joseph had no intention of letting go.
He didn’t notice he was crying until his dad handed him a tissue.
Jared blanched as he stared at the object Jensen’s mother had dropped into his hand.
Lube!
Fucking lube.
Where the hell had he left that? It wasn’t as if he and Jen had done anything in the last couple of days but…
“Are you still sleeping with my son?” Her tone was cold and Jared could see the anger in her eyes, in the pinch of her lips.
“Mrs Ackles, I ….”
“Are you? I know you have to be one of them. One of the men from that place. But are you still sleeping with him now?” She was furious, but she kept the volume down so that no-one in the other room could hear.
Jared knew he could lie, knew he could deny it, but he didn’t want to. “I love him.”
Just because he expected the slap didn’t make it hurt any less.
Part 33
A/N: So real life kicked my ass on the weekend but I may just be back into the swing of things. So, that means there should be an update on Sunday. (Barring explosions).
